bitter | e.d

| fourteen

after storming off from the cafeteria, I walk down the hallway until I see a janitor's closet nearby. my blood feels like it's boiling after everything julian and I said to each other. but everything I said was true. he doesn't have a say in anything I decide to do and he sure as hell doesn't have the right to judge me for it.

what kind of fucking best friend does that?

once I'm in the closet, I close the door behind me and then hold onto one of the shelves to breathe. I close my eyes and let my mind clear, needing this time to not do something I'd regret. if I stayed any longer talking to him, I probably would've said something I couldn't take back. he sure did.

and he acts like I'm changing when it actually seems to be him. everything I'm doing is literally for the sake of the plan, not because it's in any way who I really am. but he's taking it all way out of proportion. and who cares what I do with my own body? for crying out loud, I've even fucked gilinsky. what's the big deal who else I sleep with at this point?

I hear the sound of the door opening and then clicking closed again, now aware that someone just came inside. I push myself off the shelf, facing whoever it is. I faintly see their figure, and I'm surprised it isn't julian wanting to take back what he said.

"evie." ethan's raspy voice sounds through the closet. I can feel him take a step closer to me so we're only inches away from each other.

I swallow, looking to where his eyes would be. "of course it'd be you, of all people, in here."

"I need to talk to you." through the dark, I see him looking around the small space for something. "is there a light switch in here somewhere?"

sighing, I reach my hand to the wall on my left where the switch is. "yeah, right here."

the room is instantly illuminated, and ethan's eyes find me right away. I know I still have an annoyed expression on my face because I'm still upset about julian. and he must notice because his eyes suddenly soften, something I don't get to see very often. or ever.

"what's wrong?" he asks in a gentle voice. I try my best to lose my attitude and not take it out on ethan because it's not him I'm mad at. right now.

"nothing. nothing's wrong," I respond, taking a deep breath after. immediately, he gives me an incredulous look.

"you're clearly pissed off," he persists. "besides you storming off from the lunch room, you look pretty damn irritated. so what's up?"

I fold my arms across my abdomen and look away from his eyes. "I can't really talk to you about this. and even more so, I don't want to talk to you about any of this. I came in here to be alone."

"well, we don't always get what we want, now, do we?" he cocks his head to the side and sarcastically raises an eyebrow. for once, he isn't wrong. "I get that you probably don't trust me and very well might hate my guts, but I can be a good listener." he gives me a small grin. "if you want one."

well, isn't that the lie of the century. I specifically remember him being a sucky listener at the party when I was venting about my dad, which was very personal for me to talk about. but calling him out on his bullshit won't help my case.

I lick the inside of my cheek and bite my tongue. "I really just don't want to talk about it."

"alright, that's fine. you don't have to." he backs off a little, but I notice his eyes still holding something close to concern. "you seem really fucking stressed. I can help you with that, you know." he raises an eyebrow seductively at me.

that damn eyebrow.

"ethan." I warn him seriously despite my pulse jumping in interest at the offer.