Imprinted Memories

A Familiar Feeling Of Distrust And Guilt

After a long night with nearly no sleep Clary had decided to speak with Jonathan. She had figured out that she needed clarity at least for herself. Since Izzy would accompany her to the City of Bones, Simon had agreed to stay with Jace until they would come back. 

“I didn't know you would accompany me.”

“To support you. And I really had to get out from the institute for a while.”

“That's nice. Thank you.”

“Are you okay?”

“I don't know. I haven't slept during the night.”

Clary took a deep breath when they were at Jonathan's cell. Clary recalled way too well how she had visited Jace and how she had been locked up in there herself. It wasn't that pleasant and as soon as she saw her brother she felt the same despair again.

“Clary, what are you doing here? How's Jace?”

“Why you're asking? Do you want to know if your plan worked out or not?”

“I've told you, it wasn't me. I don't know why I'm on the surveillance videos. I've changed, I would never hurt you or Jace.”

“Why could you deceive the Soul Sword?”

“I didn't because I told the truth. If there's any way I can prove to you...”

“You can, let me access your memories of that day. But don't you dare to deceive me.”

“I would never. I'm your brother.”

“That didn't keep you from trying. Or do I need to remember you that you once tried to fool me into believing you would be Jace?”

“Those days are long gone. I've changed, Clary. And I thought, you of all persons would know that. I would never destroy my family.”

Clary couldn't hide her contempt and her unwillingness to come close to her brother but she couldn't help herself. But it was necessary to establish the connection. She asked herself if she would realize it if Jonathan would try to deceive her. 

She tried to keep her mind open and alert but it hit her when she accessed the memories of that day. She broke off the connection and ran out of the cell and down the hallways to leave this place as quickly as possible. Only a few moments later she heard Izzy behind herself.

Izzy asked what had been happening that could have caused Clary's reaction. She found her sitting on the ground, hiding her head between her arms while desperately sobbing. She let herself down next to her and pulled her close. For some minutes there was silence between them except for Clary's sobs.

“What happened? What did you see?”

“Izzy, he told the truth. It wasn't him. Someone or something with shapeshifting abilities attacked Jace disguised as Jonathan.”

“But that's good. Your brother is innocent, Clary.”

“No, it's not. I distrusted him, I questioned him. I should have known better. I accused him of the being the same kind of monster our father had been. I should have been the one who would have stood up for him, not believing he would do something like that. But instead...”

“You were in shock and why wouldn't you believe your eyes?”

“Why did you believe him?”

“When Consul Penhallow told me about his interrogation. We all know that the Soul Sword brings out the truth. That's why we tried to keep you from getting arrested back then. We need to talk to Jia right now. She has to postpone his execution at least. Do you think, the attacker had showed his or her face to Jace?”

“I don't know. We can only ask him when he wakes up. Izzy, I feel horrible. I always said how important my family is to me and when my brother needed me to believe in him, in his innocence, I've let him down. How could I have done that? You heard the awful things I said to him that night when we found Jace?”

“I did but you were worried, afraid and in shock. I guess, Jonathan knows that too.”

“I accused my mom, she neglected her own son when she left Jonathan with Valentine. And now I let him down too. He really deserves better.”

“You stop this right now. You're the best sister your brother could have asked for and being a good sibling doesn't mean, you can't make mistakes. Look at Alec, Jace, Max and me. I brought Jonathan disguised as Sebastian here, I endangered my family back then too. Did I feel guilty about it? Of course I did but even Nephilims are in the wrong sometimes. And even the strongest and most connected families suffer with distrust sometimes.”

“What if he hates me?”

“I'm sure he doesn't. And come on, let's get you up. We need to talk to Jia.”

 

The conversation with Consul Penhallow was to say the least tiring cause it was a tough task to convince her that Jonathan had spoken the truth about being innocent. But in the end she agreed to postpone his execution but to keep him locked up until Jace would be awake again and name his attacker.

Before they portaled back to the institute, they spoke to Alec to get some reassurance to make sure, Jia would stand by her word. Even though things had changed, it couldn't hurt to make sure the Clave would act accordingly. 

Both Izzy and Alec sensed that the knowledge of Jonathan being innocent didn't bring much relief to Clary.

Partly because she was still worried when Jace would wake up and if he would fully recover from his injuries and partly because she struggled with her own actions about how easily she had accused her brother. And nothing what anyone would say to her would calm her down. Right now it was evident why someone had chosen to disguise themselves as Jonathan. Because of his past actions it was easy to suspect malicious intentions. But Clary wasn't able to see the picture that way. She was still too caught up in her own feelings of guilt. And that would probably stay with her for a while.