The Basketball Jerk [Ongoing]

Chapter 24: Redemption

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This is dedicated to berna_14. Thank you po sa pagsuporta sa mga works ko.

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Isang mabagal lang na dampi sa mga labi ko ang ginawad niyang halik. It wasn’t a rough kiss or anything, it was just a simple smack that seemed to have so much more in it.  And then he slowly opened his eyes and looked at me. Punung-puno ang mga mata niya ng emosyong tila ba matagal niyang pinagkatago-tago. There is tenderness in his eyes na para bang ako ang pinakaimportanteng tao sa kanya sa pagkakataong to at kapansin-pansin din ang kasiyahan sa mga iyon. Pero sa kabila nun, he cannot hide the fact that there is also so much restraint.

Mayamaya pa’y hinalikan niya ako sa noo at pagkatapos ay niyakap nang mahigpit. “Pwede kayang mag-request kay God na i-fast-forward na niya ang panahon para graduation mo na?” parang matitimang na tanong niya. “So I won’t have to keep reminding myself that I have to stop,” and he sounded so frustrated kaya di ko na rin mapigilang ngumiti.

Kumawala naman ako saglit sa yakap niya para makita ko ang itsura niyang tila hirap na hirap na. And when I met his eyes,  I realized na ito pa rin yung  titig na lagi kong nahuhuli sa kanya at na madalas ko ring bigyan ng maling kahulugan noon. Now I’m seeing what he meant when he said he’s loved me long before. His eyes weren’t actually reflecting a merely friendly care. They’re way more than that.

“Harold…” I called his name in almost a whisper.

“Hmmm?” he responded.

“Totoo pala yung sinasabi nila na you’ll just know you love someone when they’re with somebody else na. Yung parang sa atin, wala ka lang kayang dating sa akin nung bata pa tayo,” I started reminiscing those days. “Di ka kaya kasi pansinin noon, though you were cute, patpatin ka naman. Madalas pa nga kitang asarin dahil doon di ba? Tapos ang nakakatuwa pa, kinukwento ko pa sa’yo dati yung crush ko noon,” napapangiti ako.

“Si Mike,” biglang singit niya. Gosh, he still remembers. Haha. “Yung magaling sumayaw,” tila naiirita pa ang mukha niya.

“Oo si Mike, yung anak ng teacher. Kaya pala inis na inis ka sa kanya dati kasi nagseselos ka,” I really can’t help but smile. “Pero nung nag-highschool tayo, a lot things changed, you changed. All of a sudden, ang dami mo ng admirers. Naging crowded na lang lagi paligid mo, and I thought I was just lucky because I was your best friend and that no one else can fill that. And then we got to know Melissa, more changed, and then I changed,” yeah I can still see myself before, confused and not knowingly in love with her best friend. “I started to hurt,” this time ako naman ang ngumiti ng mapakla. “And honestly, I was so naïve na hindi ko pa agad narealize na kaya ako nasasaktan sa tuwing magkasama kayo eh dahil mahal pala kita. Hanggang sa naging kayo na nga, and then that was it. Boom! Alam ko na, but too late. And since I can’t tell you how I feel, I decided to push you away. And that was me trying be cool by myself. Masakit, but I got used to it. Hanggang sa nagbreak kayo, then I got mad at you for hurting her, she’s also my friend after all. Then I decided to push you away harder. And I thought I can get over you over the years, but it didn’t happen. You just happened,” I held his face. “Lagi ka ba naman kasing nakaaligid, ‘nanay’ ng ‘nanay’ sa akin as if nothing has changed. And then here we are now, after all those years.”