BITTERSWEET

CHAPTER 10

"I haven't heard the end of it since they knew the date." I laugh.
"Also can you tell Paul to apologise to Allan, I am afraid that is the only ticket to get him to come for the party."

She now laughs.

"I will do so."

"Okay," I turn to the kids, "Bye guys." I kiss them on the cheeks and watch then as they get in class.

"Have a good day Ms. Johnson"

"You too."

____________

"Thank you so much for coming with me to the mall to choose the gifts otherwise I would have spent the whole day here." I talk to Milly as I look through the costumes on the racks.

"At least you have me and you are grateful. lord knows you are terrible at gift giving."

"You didn't have to be that blunt." I roll my eyes at her.

"Found the one." She turns to me with a pink gown with lace butterflies embroidered on the waistline, that is fit for Ashley and I can't help it but be in awe. It's absolutely stunning.

She will not want to remove this one.

"I guess we should check for shoes now since we have the gown, dinosaur and lion costume for the kids." She suggests. We head on to the shoe section.

"That was so tiring." I place the shopping bags on the couch and went in the kitchen to get myself a glass of water.

"Are you still doing the balloon décor in their rooms like last time?" She questions immediately I get back in the living room flopping on the couch.

"I guess so. I'm so tired that I am actually second guessing that idea." I do not even want to start on how much work that is. The décor consists of putting up blue and pink balloons up on the ceiling and lights custom made  'happy birthday' on the wall. Who got time for that?

"I will help you."

I squeal like a baby.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you, I love you so so so much." I hug her as a show of gratitude.

It is nightfall and I am totally spent. I have already put up the balloon decorations on the ceiling, right after I put the kids to bed so that it will be a surprise when they wake up. Let's hope that they don't come into my room otherwise that ship will sail.

I lay down on the bed and I can't help but reminisce in my memories when I gave birth to them. It feels just like it was yesterday. I am overwhelmed by emotions, literally. They are actually turning four, my babies are growing up so fast.

Four years with them hasn't been easy to say the least. I can genuinely say it has been a rollercoaster ride, I have been through ups and downs, highs and lows, mountains and hills, bumpy ride or whatever people say to explain life.

For the first time in weeks I cry, I cry because I'm happy and sad at the same time. I cry because my heart if full and content of the love that I have for them. I cry because of all the shitty things and hardships I have had with them. I cry because of their little cute faces and laughs and stubbornness. I cry because they don't have their daddy. I cry because they are my three little minions. I cry because I feel like shit that they don't know their dad. I cry because my parents aren't here to be with them. I cry because I am happy.

DAY OF THE PARTY.

"Happy birthday to you......" I enter their room with four candle lit vanilla cupcakes with chocolate frosting singing to them a happy birthday song. To be honest my voice isn't the best but a mommy gotta do what she gotta do.