Falling For the Nerd// Lucaya

19: Broken

Warning:language

Maya's pov

I dont think I have cried this much before. Its almost as bad as the first day of freshman year. When Lucas decided he was to cool for me. He called me horrible things, it was the first time he hit me. That day when I got home, i cried my eyes out. He told me I was worthless and cheap, and I believed him. He was the reason I harmed myself, he was the reason I almost overdosed, his fault.

But here I am getting sucked back in, and him breaking me me all over again. I should have known it was to good to be true, why would he love me, I'm so stupid

"Maya wait please" I can hear the desperation in his voice, but its not enough for me to turn around. He doesn't deserve it

"Please" I hear him croak out and I feel my heart tug and I stop, but I don't turn around. He grabs my hand, and the sparks are shooting and for some reason I don't pull away

"Look at me" He whispers. My mind is telling me to tell him to get his hands off of me me, but my heart wins. I turn very slowly, my tears falling down. When I am fully turned I dont look at him until he tips my chin with one of his fingers. He has tears falling down his cheeks too.

"What do you want" I whisper

"You" he replies.

I let out a croaky laugh and pain is shot through his eyes, that gets me mad

"No, you don't get to feel pain, I do. You broke my heart. I was just a fucking bet to you. I gave every single thing to you. You are out to kill me, I mean it wouldn't be the first time" I scream at him. Both of our faces are drenched in tears

"What do you mean not the first time" he asks giving me a hard stare. I stay quite "Tell me" he sneers. It scares me a bit

"First day of freshman year, it was the first time Ive ever tried to harm myself. I cut and when that wasn't enough, i ransacked my moms medicine cabinet and took all the pills I could find. I was dead for a couple seconds but the doctors saved me" i explained to him. With every word my voice got harder but my tears came down faster. Remembering the time. Lucas was shaking his head, trying to think that everything I was saying wasn't true

"Im a monster" he whispers to himself but I could still hear him. He lets me go and slowly stumbled backwards

"Im an asshole" he says again and keeps on going backwards

"Lucas" I say trying to catch him but he moves his hand

"No. I don't deserve you, I dont deserve anyone. I ruined you, why did you forgive me, Maya, why" He sounds so broken and I have no idea how we changed places

"Because no matter what you did, I could never hate you, I loved you to much" Is it bad that I no longer cared that I was bet, that he maybe never loved me

"I dont deserve your love. I left you when you needed me most, while you were broken, I was out partying, not giving a shit about anyone else but myself, look how that turned out, you almost died" she screamed

"But I didn't" I fought back

"Why are you arguing back, you should hate me"

"I can't Lucas, I just can't. And I don't even care that was a bet. I don't care if you never loved me. I loved you, and thats why I can't hate you, I love you to fucking much that it hurts" I screamed at him. I dont care if i woke up the whole neighborhood. Lucas got very close to me

"You shouldn't love me" he whispers and lightly puts his hand on my cheek

"But I do" i whisper back. Before he can reply I grab his head and kiss him. I kiss him as if my life depends on it, and he doesn't hesitate to kiss me back. We pour all our feelings into this kiss. Regret. Love. Desire

"Im so sorry" he whispers on my lips

"Shh...I love you too" is my reply

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SORRY IT HAS MEEN AWILE

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I WANT A LOT OF COMMENTS!!!!!!!

NEXT CHAPTER IS THE EPILOGUE

COMING OUT WITH A NEW BOOK.....WHICH TITLE

HIS LITTLE ARTIST

OR

WHAT HAPPENS IN VEGAS

BOTH ARE LAYA