“Where do you want to go?” I asked while we were walking to my car with my hand on the small of her back.
She looked up at me with a quizzical look. Tanya tensed when our eyes locked. I gave her a warm smile to ease her discomfort but it only made her cheeks flush pink, causing me to grin at how cute it was. Nahihiyang nag-iwas siya ng tingin. She was just so blissfully unaware of how breathtakingly beautiful she was.
Her actions confuse me as much as it captures my curiosity. She seemed so unworldly and uncorrupted, something I almost never saw in girls. It was surprising given her job as a prostitute. She was very different from any woman that I had met. Her grace was very unwhorish. When I first saw her, I had already felt an odd stirring of protectiveness rise inside me. I tried to fight it because I didn’t want to feel any weakness toward her. But now I had fallen too deep into this unfamiliar rabbit hole. As much as I wanted to fight it, I knew whatever it was that I was feeling right now with her, I wanted more of it.
“Bahala ka.” She answered in a shy voice.
“Palaging ako na lang ang nagdedesisyon. Ngayon gusto ko ikaw naman.” I said.
Hindi pa siya nakakasagot ng makarating na kami sa harap ng kotse. I opened the passenger’s side door for Tanya and she nodded her head as a thank you with her eyes still glued to the ground. Maingat siyang sumakay sa kotse at isinira ko ang pinto nito. I went around to the driver’s side, hopping in and starting the car.
“Alam mo na ba kung saan mo gusto pumunta?” Tanong ko sa kanya.
She shook her head. When will she warm up around me? Mabuti pa sa text messages kinakausap niya ako. She was more relaxed and sweet when we talk over the phone. But whenever I’m around she becomes a timid, shy and nerve racked girl. She seemed so intimidated by my presence. I just wanted her to be more comfortable around me.
“Why don’t you take me to your favorite place? Your favorite restaurant?” I suggested.
She paused for awhile as if thinking before she spoke. “Baka hindi mo magustuhan doon.”
I smiled at her. “Try me.”
I watched as Tanya brushed her fingers through her dark hair, tucking some loose strands of it behind her ears. She had this quiet charm that always leaves you wanting more. Everything she does makes me want her. Not in a sexual way but in a way I just want to be next to her. Nothing more, nothing less. She picked up the spoon and fork and was about to dig in to the food in front of her when she suddenly paused and lifted her eyes up to me when she felt the weight of my stare.
When she saw me watching she shyly put down her spoon and fork and looked at me with a worried look on her face. “Okay lang ba talagang dito tayo?”
“Yeah, of course.” I gave her a reassuring smile. She took me to this outdoor grill kiosk with white plastic patio chairs and tables around it where you could eat. Umupo kami sa isa sa mga mesa pagkatapos namin umorder ng pagkain.
She gave me a weak smile before turning back to her food. It took all my willpower not to get lost in watching her. I observed her in amusement. Her face, her concentration, her shoulders then her hands. I could do this for hours. Everything around us faded in the background, the noise, the people… she was all I could see. I shook my head at the thought. I was a hopeless goner. Gone. Gone. Gone. I never imagined I could feel this way for any woman
“How was work?” I asked, trying to start a conversation. Nag-angat ulit siya ng tingin sa akin but I could tell that she was uncomfortable holding my gaze.
