my type ((yandere x reader))

LXXII- letting go

(Y/n) was sat in Felix's office.

It was cold, much colder than it had been before.

"How's school?" He asked, Felix didn't seem at all affected by the low temperature while (Y/n) had to wrap her arms around herself to keep warm.

"School...?" She was dreaming, she knew it wasn't real. "I'm not going..."

"Ah, right, because you're dead. I almost forgot, everybody did." He said nonchalantly.

"Sorry? What do you mean?"

"Ronan's glad if anything, same with Carmen, their lives are a lot easier without you. Tia and Orlando are happy not to have you dragging them down anymore. And as for everyone else... who else even gave a shit about you?" Felix chuckled a little. "It's good, right? Now you don't need to feel guilty."

"No one cares..."

"Everyone's over it, not like there was much to get over anyway." He lit a cigar and reached over the desk in order to hand it to (Y/n).

She took it tentatively and put it between her lips. The warmth it gave her was a nice contrast from the coldness around her.

"And you? Do you miss me?" She asked between puffs on his cigar.

"Do you want me to?" Felix queried.

(Y/n) shrugged. "I don't know... yes?"

"Then I do." He grinned at her.

(Y/n) sighed and wondered when she was going to wake up.

"Are you going to kill me?" She asked bluntly.

Felix shook his head lightly. "Nope."

"Am I?" (Y/n) followed up.

"No." He put his hand out as a way to take the cigar back, (Y/n) obliged. "He is."

(Y/n)'s eyes shot open. "Fuck!" She said loudly as she sat herself up, this was quickly followed by her flopping back down from the pain that came with sitting all the way up. "Ugh, what the hell?" She groaned and grabbed her lower abdomen.

"You need rest." Gianni's voice was weak and broken, redness evident in his eyes.

(Y/n) squinted at him as he walked over to sit on the edge of her bed. Now that she thought about it she didn't even remember getting into bed.

"I know what you're thinking...." Gianni said quietly.

His words caught (Y/n) a little off guard since she hardly knew what she was thinking so she was interested to hear what he was going to say.

"You succeeded, so well done I guess." He moped bitterly.

Succeeded?

"I hope you don't mind that I changed your underwear, you were bleeding a lot when I got home." Gianni shuddered thinking of the sight he had come back to. "The internet says that it's going to be like a heavy and more painful period for the next few days, you can't wear tampons though, only pads." He informed her. "I bought some for you but if you'd prefer a different brand or anything then just tell me."

Oddly enough, (Y/n) wasn't that disturbed that Gianni changed her underwear and put her pad on. It wasn't anything he hadn't seen before anyway and she knew him well enough to know that he would've been too much of an emotional wreck to even think of her in a sexual way.

"If you told me you didn't want the baby I would have let you have an abortion, you know that? A safe abortion carried out by a doctor. You could've died, (Y/n)." His voice broke a little and new tears replaced the stains on his cheeks. "O-of course I wanted a baby with you, but you should've told me instead of doing this. You're the most important thing in my life and I don't want to force this on you."

"Don't lie to me." (Y/n) mumbled.

"Excuse me?"

"You're such a fucking liar! If I told you I wanted an abortion you never would have let me get one and you and I both know that. You only say that now because with works for your 'good guy' rhetoric, but you're not a good guy! If I didn't do what I did you would have made me have the baby, don't even try to tell me otherwise." (Y/n) lashed out at him.

Gianni bit his tongue. She knew him well. Honestly, he didn't really know how he would've reacted if (Y/n) had asked for an abortion before she carried one out herself, but he knew his reaction wouldn't be as graceful as he liked to think.

"That's not fair... you can't say that I'm not good, my intentions have always been-"

"Your intentions aren't important! It's not your intentions that make you a good or bad person, you could kill someone with the purest intentions but at the end of the day they're still dead and your intentions don't do shit to change that. If you do bad things: you're a bad person." (Y/n) surmised.

Gianni averted his eyes away from her. "I know what I've done is bad... but I think someone can do bad things and still be a good person. Look, I'm so so so sorry for everything I've done to you. I know I'm not right in the head and that you're unhappy. But I know that I have to do this and I'll never regret it."

"If you don't regret it then you're not sorry." (Y/n) said to him sadly.

"I regret hitting you, I regret sleeping with you, I regret getting you pregnant even if that wasn't intended. But I don't regret bringing you here, maybe it's not just for the purpose of protection... I love you a lot, I hope you're not too tired of hearing that." Gianni looked over to her and saw that (Y/n) didn't appear to be overly pleased.

"I can't deal with this shit..." She threw her head back, not really talking to Gianni or herself as much as the void.

Gianni's tears kept falling and his crying started to grow in its ferocity. "Please, (Y/n), you have to try to understand from my perspective-"

"What about my perspective? You haven't lost your freedom, Gianni! You still see your friends, your family, you can still live like a normal human being. I'm kept holed up here like I'm your fucking dog!" (Y/n) fought through the pain to sit herself up so she could properly convey her emotions.

"I'd give all that up for you, (Y/n). If our positions were switched and I was the one who everyone thought was dead and you were going out, I'd feel so fucking lucky. I'd be so grateful that you were doing this for me and I'd wait for you to come home everyday and just give you the love that you deserve, the love you've worked so hard for." Gianni cried.

"It's easy for you to say all this shit like how you regret it, how you would have let me terminate the pregnancy or how you would let me do this to you when there's no way to prove it. Because those things are never going to happen so you can say whatever you want, how about instead of talking about being better than you are, you actually get better?" (Y/n) scowled at him when she was done.

Gianni fell quiet, his sniffs were the only sound in the room.

"I'm going to stay home tomorrow-"

"No, you're not." (Y/n) lay back down. "I don't think I want to see you."

He felt so helpless, it was strange how she had so much control over him in a situation where he should have total dominance.

"(Y/n), darling... you're breaking my heart, I-"

"I don't want to see you!" She cut him off loudly.

"I can't let you hurt yourself again." He sobbed out.

"Oh, for fuck's sake, Gianni, I don't want to hurt myself or kill myself, okay? I just didn't want to have a baby, the pregnancy's gone now... Just please go to school tomorrow, I want to be left alone." (Y/n) begged him, she was really hating who he was turning out to be. It didn't help that he'd start crying in every other interaction they had, it all felt like some fucked up guilt trip.

"Fine... I'll let you be alone...but you can't ignore me forever."