All I Ever Knew Was Your Name [Nick Robinson]

FIFTY

fade into you by mazzy star

Love is scary. It's uncertain. It can hurt you. It can make you feel like you've hit rock bottom, even when you've feel like you've already been there before. Somehow it manages to get worse, and you can't seem to pull yourself out of whatever hole you've dug yourself into.

It's also gentle. It's warm and comforting and exciting. It can change you into someone you've never been— someone you never thought you'd be. It can make you see things in a whole new light. It can be the most beautiful feeling in the entire world.

I don't know what time it is. Truthfully, I don't care. It could be days since this first started— since Nick pushed through my bedroom door and demanded my truth— and I don't care.

As I stand beneath the hot beads of water, letting them impale my back and neck for the second time that night, I don't care. All I know is that I'm not alone this time, and that's all that matters.

Beautifully long fingers stroke through my wet hair, running down my neck repeatedly while I nuzzle my nose into a perfectly muscled shoulder. My eyes close so softly to the rhythm of those beautiful fingers while my own sink gently into a warm, familiar back.

This closeness is one that I haven't felt in years. I tried so hard to reminisce on a moment like this so many times during my lonely nights, but nothing can compare to the reality of it. Soft, wet skin sliding against my own while pretty lips rest on my temple, kissing there every now and then to remind me of why we're here together. It's quiet, but it's so peaceful. It's the most intimate I could be with a person, and it's with the only person I ever want to be intimate with.

"Do you think Penny and Owen are still listening?" the most beautifully quiet voice only sends me further into a spiral.

I can't help but chuckle, feeling my lips pull into a smile against his wet skin. "Undoubtedly."

"Penny's probably got every inch of your room bugged in case this ever happened," he teases.

My smile is fading as I close my eyes, soaking in every single word that parts his lips. I've cried over moments like these. I've cried because I hated myself for not remembering— for being so forgetful and foolish for not memorizing him before.

I'll never let that happen again.

Without thinking, I find myself saying: "In case this ever happened?"

It's not confrontational. It's not hostile, either. It's one of many questions I've yearned to ask for so long. It was more along the lines of: Are you going to get tired of chasing me? or Will you give up on me?

"Mary," Nick's voice murmurs lowly into my ear, lips grazing my cheek.

"Hm?" I hum, the tip of my nose slipping across his stunning jawline until our eyes meet for the first time in a few minutes.

His eyes are dazed as he watches me, taking me in like I'll disappear into thin air. He might as well have hearts in his eyes, the warmth translating through his gaze filling me from within. It doesn't seem real. I never thought I'd feel this again.

Water droplets trickle down his face, mesmerizing me like never before. Stunning brown eyes that I could get lost in stare so dreamily into my own while soft pink lips look like they're begging to be touched endlessly.

He's here, Mary. He's here, and he's with you. This is everything you've ever wanted.

"I would have done anything to make sure we found each other again," his voice is quiet as he studies me. "All this time, I— I just thought you wanted space from me."