I Can't Own You? (BOOK 1)

65 (NEW)

In the library, James sits on a sofa cornered by a lit fireplace. He looks very ill, weak, as if he would fall over from just the wind. I stop my mind from repeating the words, "is he gonna die?", feeling horrible for faking sick as a scheme. That was wrong and insensitive when James is actually in a fatal condition.

"He needs a lesson," Sydney throws these words at me.

"Whoa, whoa, what?!" I exclaim. "How was I supposed to know she was out of the loop?!"

"From her asking, Ry, use context clues."

I make to retort but James clears his throat. "Stop...cut him loose...I'll deal with her later."

Deal...meaning beat...OH FUCK I just caused a woman to get abused again. "I saw her bruises...I know it's none of my business but maybe try talking instead." My tone wavers in a high pitched.

"He's a counselor now." Syd stabs.

James locks a gaze on me, his eyes drowsy but full of a fight. "You're right; it's none of your business...just know she caused it. Most women bring their own abuse. Remember that." He closes his eyes briefly as if fending off pain. I catch his foot shake with his chest. "What do you want?" He controls his voice...pronouncing the words carefully around the tremors.

"Umm...I just felt like...umm." I glance over at Syd. "It'd be great if you left." I snap with much confidence.

"Oh, of course, your rank belittles mine." He leers.

James chuckles, softly, and in short bursts. "Go on, let the boy win."

Syd keeps a sarcasm. "Yes, Boss Baby." He taps his feet together, all combative, then marches out of the room on his heels. Showing off.

"He's a problem...he needs to be fired."

"Really?" James asks, amused.

This subject is helping take his mind off of his condition; his body slows of shaking, his chest relaxes. I play on with the entertainment. "Since I'm the new boss and all."

"Okay, how would you handle the mafia, with all your power?"

I raise my chin and pace the room. "First, I would, of course, hack their headquarters and houses, through fire detectors or speakers, then..." I spin on my heels. "I would send a frequency so high that it kills their brain cells. A slow torture. A paralysis. Slow enough, that realization kicks in." James just watches...regaled by my plotting. I've thought it over a lot at night. "No evidence...detectives will never know." I give a smug mug as I sit on a toasty windowsill. "I need a promotion."

James hackles at this. "Perhaps you do." His body is set in the chair like a dummy doll, displaying his limbs as nonfunctional. "Tell me what you came to say." He demands a raspy break in his voice worries me.

I blush, avoiding his eyes. "When Syd told me you were poisoned, I was at school...it was the strangest experience I've ever had. I came to check on you. Anyways." I change the subject before it gets mushy and corny. "Poison is no joke...I researched the side effects of arsenic. What medicine are you taking?"

"Dimercaprol."

I tug at my ear. "Oh...that one has horrible side effects; I was hoping the doctor suggested a herbal mineral supplement. Have you had any pain or pressure in your throat or chest, or a burning sensation?"

He gives a dry laugh. "How do you know all this?"

"YouTube," I respond swiftly.

"I'm fine, Ryan, but thank you for caring."

"I should've visited you when it happened, but Syd is an asshole. I would have asked the doctor about mineral treatment. I couldn't get out of school how I planned. I wanted to follow my gut and just ditch, but I couldn't."

"Because you're smart. Always keep a straight lie to survive." James yawns and dozes off, this time without protesting.

"Yeah..." I scratch my head, not able to stop a sentimental fairy from kicking my ass. I feel admiration and butterflies tingle within my stomach. I needed to hear that catchphrase. Should I thank him for reassuring me? But he's sleep now, just leave him be.

"What are you brooding about?"

I could have sworn he was asleep, by squinting, I see that his eyes are slightly open. "I just want to say...feel better and get lots of rest." I strain my voice awkwardly as I stand. "I'll be back tomorrow...with more kill plans."

"Alright, it's a deal." James smiles weakly. "Goodnight, kid."

It feels wrong to leave without doing this. Half of me wants to go, but the other half feels it'll be cold-hearted to not follow my gut. Weirdly, I ease over to James, mostly scared that he'd snap on me for not leaving when dismissed.

His lazy eyes soften while he looks up at me. "Alright, I give you permission." At that, I hug him, leaning and wrapping my arms around his body and the back of the chair, not wanting to use too much pressure. It wasn't a one-sided embrace, James pats my forearm, being the best he could respond in his state. My eyes sting, my throat tightens. It'd been years since I had an actual comforting hug from a father figure. "Thank you."

I back out from the hug and let my eyes jump around the room to block out waterworks. I wring my hand around my neck. "No biggie...goodnight." My legs race to the door.