I Can't Own You? (BOOK 1)

41 (NEW)

SAM

I stare up at the trees as I head back down the street to the house. I've been out for three hours now, pacing a peaceful neighborhood and taking time to think. The word friend keeps getting tossed around with me. First Chris said: "I'm not repeating the past, you were a horrible boyfriend, but you're a good friend..." And just yesterday, his mother said: "You're not rational enough to be with him romantically, but you should still stay a friend."

Friend.

A shallow emptiness fills my stomach...and it isn't hunger. I look straight ahead now. My distance is about five blocks....maybe eight. I lost count.

Today is cooler; the weather is perfect...not too warm, not too hot, just like the fall season. It's a strange relief not seeing snow on the ground, the shit that wrecks your car. I watch my shoes avoid cracks in the sidewalks. I have enough bad luck going.

This Nakamo guy...Chris had told me about all of his boyfriends. He had three before he met me. I think this guy was the third. A guy who took well to his family and stayed in Chris's memory. So much that just the mention of his name, put Chris into a trance. I hated seeing that. I could barely sleep last night, but I bet Chris had no problem doing so.

He had forgotten about me.

I pick up my pace, realizing I haven't eaten anything...maybe the feeling in my gut is hunger...mixed with hurt. I need to accept that Chris had lovers before me...they're not just names, they're experiences...pieces of him. Don't let jealousy get the best of me. When I get back, I'll take Chris out for brunch...we need to talk things over, not just about our relationship but about the hackers too. We need to cut ties with them for our safety.

Chris needs to erase that damn card number from his mind. We'll discuss staying out here...working out here. Yeah. It'll be a good conversation. I'll even hint at a birthday gift I'm planning. Usually, he moves the celebration to Valentine's Day, it was the day after, on the 15th.

This time I'll make that day special.

I come up on the Johnson's house. There's another car here....a silver Jeep. On the circular back part of the trunk, a decorative side profile of a native drawing looks away into the distance, on its head is a colorful headpiece of feathers. Hmm, that's different. As I near the front of the car, I hear voices mix in with the wind. "What did she mean by that?" Chris asks in a demanding tone.

There's a short silence; I slow my pace and eavesdrop. "Umm." A gentle voice responds, layered with a watery accent. "I'll tell you some other time."

A few seconds pass of no speaking. I let my presence be known, knocking on the back window once before nearing the driver's seat. "Oh, hey, I didn't hear you." Chris is caught off guard, his eyes go wide...I guess I'm lurking...or is he doing something he mustn't?

"Must be the wind." My eyes go to who's in the passenger's seat. To light, gray eyes which sink deeply into mine, as if reading my chemistry. As if they were painted and outlined on a statue. Striking and hypnotic. Wow. Nakamo's skin is roasted brown and flawless as silk. His high cheekbones sharp. His mannerism chill. Okay...he's gorgeous.

I guess he knows my thoughts because he gives a teasing side smile. "Hello."

"Sam, this is Naka." Chris squints at me, curiously tilting his head.

I fix my expression. "Nice to meet you. Chris has told me a lot."

"Only the embarrassing parts, I hope." Nakamo jokes.

Chris's eyes are still on me...unsure of how to break the ice from last night. He's so visually transparent with the inner workings of his mind. "Can we talk?" He asks in a whisper.

My eyes land to my baby, in full tunnel vision, nothing else mattered right now. Not even the living art sitting in the other seat. "Sure." I back away as Chris opens the car door.

"I'll see you inside." He tells Naka.

"Alright." Nakamo nods.

Chris closes the door, then steps across the driveway, I follow him. He goes to the side of the garage, then opens a gate leading to the backyard. I feel the air go electric, intense, preparing for an argument. He's going to go off on me for walking out. The backyard holds lawn furniture, a pond, white bushes, three trees, one of them holds a treehouse. "Don't break my childhood." He jabs as he climbs the latter of the treehouse with ease.

"Yeah...I think I actually might." I clench my teeth.

Chris makes it to the top, then peeks over the edge. "Come on; you don't weigh a ton." He bites his lip. "It's isolated up here."

I begin to climb the latter carefully. I expected Chris to curse me out, yell, give me the cold shoulder as I've done with him. Instead, he's civil. "I'm sorry for taking off like that; I needed to think."

"About?"

I stop stepping the latter halfway through and glance up at him. "Jealousy."

"Oh..." He says as I continue climbing.

Should I tell him about the subtle threat his mother made? Should I say how he had repeated damn near the same words of friend zone? Should I bring up any of that?? "It was just a dumb impulse." Is all I say. I scoot into the treehouse and sit beside him. Our feet dangle over the edge.

"I thought you left me for good." He says, his voice faltering into a troublesome. Chris lays his head on my shoulder.

"Baby, no, I would never do that, haven't all these years proved that?"

He sniffles softly. "I guess."

I side kiss his forehead, letting my mouth taste his bubbly scent. "I love you."

"I love you." He lets his head slide under my neck, snuggling into it like a puppy. The wind blows profoundly, rustling the leaves of the tree and spreading the smell of grass and wet stone from the pond. Setting what seemed to be a perfect mood. Chris interrupts it. "Oh, and one last thing."

"Yeah?"

He cracks up, snorting out chuckles. "Stop hitting on my friend."