Hidden Scars

Chapter 57

Chapter 57...
"Why do things keep happening to me?"
"What do you mean?"
Hiccup and Astrid were led on her bed, staring up at the ceiling. Both hands connected with their fingers intertwined and Hiccup's thumb tracing gently over Astrid's knuckles. Hiccup's face turned to look at her as she asked the question.
"I feel like... I'm cursed."
"Astrid..."
"No Hiccup... everything is just... turning to shit..."
Astrid turned her flushed face from crying her pain away to him. She was no longer crying but the glow of the light in the room showed the traces that ran down her soft cheeks.
"... ever since Leo came into my life, everything has just changed. I was beaten up... threatened... raped... lost my parents and I... I almost lost you..."
"Astrid... you will never lose me... never... yes I lost it a bit today but I made a mistake and came back or you... I'll always be here... ok?"
"Ok..."
Hiccup pushed his body up so he was leaning against the pillow and opened his arms up for her. She gently smiled and pushed her weakened and fragile body into his safe form. She breathed in his scent as she leant her head on his chest, brushing her skin against the soft fibres of his jumper.
"Is there anything I can do?"
"For what?"
"To make you feel any better?" Hiccup rubbed his arm up and down and moved some strands of hair from her face.
"I dunno... I feel like... I'm lost and I can't feel joy again. Sometimes... I just wish..."
"Wish what?"
"I wasn't here anymore..."
Hiccup moved away from Astrid to look at her directly in her eyes. He was speechless.
"Look Hiccup... I'm fed up of Leo ruining my life and there's nothing I can do to get him out of it so... what's the point of being here?" Astrid sighed and rubbed her eyes.
"Don't... Don't say that Astrid! You can't think like that!"
"Why? Why can't I think like that Hiccup? Everything in my life has fucked up! What is the point of trying if every single thing going well in my life is thrown out the fucking window and my life is wrecked?"
Hiccup had no words.
"Why wasn't it me that was in that car? Why couldn't I have stopped them from leaving? Why did they have to leave?"
"Astrid! Stop it!" Hiccup moved his hands to her face and held her cheeks so she was looking into his eyes as he could see her crumbling inside. "You can't undo the past... and you can't bring your parents back... nor could you have stopped them."
They sat in the quiet again.
"What do I do now?
"About what?"
"Everything... my summer job isn't going to be able to earn me enough money to pay for the mortgage and all the stuff my parents had to pay for... bills, food, the house, Stormfly... I won't be able to save up for university or-"
"Astrid, Astrid... slow down... I'll help you..."
"How?"
"There's a spare room in my house... I'm sure my mum would love to give it to you and Stormfly will 100% be able to stay with us. Don't worry."
"But Hiccup... I can't give up this house... I grew up here and there are too many memories that I'm holding onto here."
"Maybe it's time to make some new ones tho..."
Astrid closed her eyes and was quiet in deep thought. She was confused and didn't understand what and where here life was coming to. A life here struggling... or a life with Hiccup.
Hiccup had an idea.
"Come with me..." Hiccup stretched out his hand for her and stood up.
"Where are we going?" She saw his hand and took it, shuffling off the bed as he pulled her out he room. He opened the door that leads up to the attic and dragged Astrid upstairs.
"It's time to look at your memories."