Long ago, yes(Youjo senki fanfiction)

9: I'm hurt now

As soon as Tanya had calmed down, she slowly opened the black bag. Her hopes of maybe opening one of the letters she wrote were going to ease her mind, but when she did pick one out, it was a blank folded piece of paper.

"What..?" She muttered and yanked a different one, it was empty.

Another, it was empty.

Empty.

Empty.

Empty.

All were obvious to be empty.

She couldn't take it anymore. Her urge to cry was high, and so she broke down and whimpered to herself softly. The female body was indeed mentally unstable in negative emotions such as this.

She mumbled a few words to herself and cried quietly to herself. She didn't want anyone seeing her like this of course.

Why would she?

She lost all the records of it all. Everything, all the emotions she expressed down to give to her when they come back together was what made her do it.

She was hoping to give it to her, just like old times.

"Damnit..." She cried out as she threw the bag away, the empty sheets of paper spilling out and everywhere.

She frowned, scowled, cried, whimpered, and slammed the back of her head multiple times on the tree. She was too careless that's what she thought, yes.

"I'm sorry..." She muttered the words multiple times to herself.

He was already thinking because of him, he was dragged with him in this crazy selfish powerful being.

"It's all my fault..! It's all my fault!!" She muttered a new line this time but still cried softly in the isolated area.

Well, that's what she thought so.

Little did she know about the one person who hated her the most knew about the tree and liked to smoke under it? Eric von Lerhgen.

'what is she..? Is she crying?' he thought as he stayed hidden behind the side of the wall.

Listening closely as he tried to make out what the young child was muttering.

Taking the risk, he took a quiet step close and was somehow able to listen better.

"I'm sorry," was what he heard being repeatedly muttered in her whimpers.

"It's all my fault," he heard that too.

Both kept on being repeated until a line caught him red-handed of his point of view on the titled devil of the Rhine.

"I dragged you into it and I'm sorry...."

He stared for a while over the shoulder of the crying child. His heart was racing by the apprehensiveness.

What was it? What is it? Why is that?

He was nowhere entitled to call her a monster because of this secret revealed only to him. He felt something different other than sheer fear and uneasiness.

Knowing he had seen enough, he took his leave quietly as he could and walked away, his hand still clutching near his chest as he tried to process everything more clearly.

Hallucination? No.

His need for a smoke was met with the sheer feeling of concern and anxiousness when he saw Visha looking around for someone with a concerned look while holding a black bag.

Lerhgen stared intently at the bag and realized he saw something almost exactly like that.

There it hit him of the correct word to use for the new feeling, grudge.

Walking towards Visha who finished asking a fellow soldier, he opened his mouth to speak.

"If you're looking for her, please keep the reason how you found her a secret. She is behind the building, take it easy on her as well." Lerhgen said before taking his leave with the new grudge now in his chest.

...

"Captain?" Visha called out as soon as she opened the doors.

Tanya had disappeared.

She glanced around but saw no trace of her.

'Where did she go?' she thought as she scanned a little more and checked near the gates.

Then someone shouted her name.

"Visha!" Visha turned to look and find where it came from and saw her friend, Erya running towards her.

"What are you doing here?" Visha asked.

"To return this." Erya said with a confused look as she raised a black bag in mid-air.

Visha's eyes widened when she saw it that she quickly yanked and held it tight.

"Where did you get this!?" She stammered out but somehow the tone of her voice felt threatening.

"Calm down! I took it from this guy who---"

Before their conversation

"Hey~ what's that?" Erya asked as she laid an arm over one of her comrade's shoulder.

The young man chuckled and said, "I stole it from the devil of the Rhine! Risky but worth it!"

Erya's eyes widened when she saw the black bag.

"Where are the other papers in it?" She calmly asked.

"Nah, this is the only paper I took out yet." The young man laughed.

Now that was enough reassurance for Erya to out him down by a hit near his shoulder and took the paper he had in hand when he fell unconscious before grabbing the black bag. Checking twice before leaving with it in a hurry.

Present

"So yeah... I took it from him when he had it in his hands." Erya said.

Visha didn't know how to thank her even more for keeping the promise.

"Thank god... I thought it was you who spread the word." Visha said after a sigh of relief.

"Spread the word?" Erya was confused.

Visha glanced around their surrounding before inching close to whisper.

Erya was caught surprised.

"Are you for real!?" She stammered out.

Visha nodded.

"No way! Someone must've been listening!" Erya said.

"I know... that's what Tanya also said before she---...." Visha was cut off when a realization struck her.

Erya gave a confused look.

"What's wrong?" She asked.

"Captain was... crying..." Visha whispered.

"Where is she then?" Erya asked.

Visha felt her face red and somehow she felt teary eyes by then.

Erya flinched and quickly reassured her.

"Hey, hey! Don't cry! We'll find her! I'll help!" Erya said as she yanked a towel and wiped her friend's sudden tears.