「𝐊𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐚 𝐗 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫。」Oneshots

Karma x Reader |~why~|

I didn't read this over so it probably has a shit ton of mistakes

⚠️ warning ⚠️

HAS TRIGGERING SUBJECTS

(Y/N)'s POV:

why does it hurt so much?

i shouldn't care. i knew he was going to ghost me. i knew all long that this was going to happen yet i still let him in. it hurts watching him look so happy without me. why?

"I-I'm going to the bathroom." i said and got up from my table. it was lunch time and i did what i usually did. sit at some random table so the guidance counselor won't yell at me for being by myself. i never eat lunch anymore.

i desperately need to lose weight and now a days whenever i put food in my mouth i feel awful. but overall in general i've seemed to have just lost my appetite. my friends would always try to force me to eat but i would never listen. part of me feels bad for them because they feel the need to have to worry for me. but nowadays eating just feels like a chore i have to force myself to do.

that's why i'm going to bathroom right now. "oh ok" is all i got for a response from them when i stood up and left the table. the moment i walked in the bathroom, i made sure to check to see if anyone else was in here. nope, it's empty.

perfect

i went into a stall and locked the door. the moment i did, i sat down in the corner, and hugged my knees. and started to cry.

i know now that i mustn't cry in front of my friends. i'm just a burden and i'll bother them even more by crying. they'll ask the normal questions that you have to ask just for your own reputation. "are you okay?" "what's wrong" "you know im here for you right?"

it's all bullshit. they never mean any of it. they don't care. just like how he doesn't care. if i tell them about my problems, they'll leave me. just like how he did. if i cry in front of them, they get mad and tell me to stop. just like how he did.

why do i miss him so much? he only said he was taking a break for awhile but it still hurts so much. it's like he woke up one day and decided he no longer wanted to talk to me. all of my friends who are also friends with him say it wasnt random and that it wasn't out of no where.

that only made it worse. that means he's been feeling this way for awhile and that he was only talking to me because he pitied me. i even asked multiple times why he talked to me. he said some random shit that wasn't true, he and i both knew it was just because he pities me.

i opened my phone and looked at our texts messages. the last message read "goodnight (Y/N)". yea you may be wondering what happened. we would only really text each other since i get really self conscious in front of him.

i used to act the same way i would with everyone with him however. i used to jump on them and hug them. yell their name across the hallways to get their attention. yea, i'm seen as the outgoing girl, the one who always laughs at everything.

but in reality, i'm so confused.

i don't know how i really am. i act differently with different people. i feel the need to do or act a certain way to met their standards. i want to be myself but i don't know who that is.

but once i started to like him, things changed. i used to have a thing for another boy who had also hurt me. I used to rant about it to him and he really helped me get through it. actually, the day before we broke up, i learned that he liked me more than a friend.