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He bit my skin softly then placed pepper kisses along my neck. I pushed him away gently then asked: "can you not get distracted?"
"How can I not when you're this irresistible? I don't know where I stand with feelings as well but every time I look at you, I can't help but want to kiss you. I can't help but want to be close and look over you not only to touch you but recently I've been wanting to hear your voice a lot and your clumsy laughter. I've grown to like you" he said as I stared at him.
He placed a strand of hair behind my ear before leaning in and covering my lips with his.
Pulling back to catch our breaths, he looked at me with loving eyes then said "the only thing I regret now is not coming after you sooner. I slept with Sapphire to get you off of my mind yet it didn't work"
I felt as if I had stopped breathing at that moment. I couldn't process his words.
He slept with Sapphire.
He knew what would happen but he had to say it to get the guilt off his chest. He knew that he couldn't keep it a secret from y/n so he pulled a no brainer move and said what he had to.
"You did what?" I asked as I jolted up from next to him.
"Oh fuck" he muttered as he jumped up and came closer to me.
With each step he took closer, I took one back.
"Y/n I'm sorry," he said as he had me completely pinned against the wall for the second time in this room.
"I just didn't want to fall for you but your charms are compelling. It's like a trap and I know that I should want to escape it but here I am" he let out lowly.
"You slept with her because you were afraid to face me? Afraid to accept your feelings?" I asked as I gently pushed him away.
I turned away from him as tears filled to the brim of my eyes.
Quickly escaping him before he sees it, I stood at one end of the room as he stood at another end.
"Fuck" he yelled as he punched the wall.
I flinched at his action and immediately approached him to see if he was okay.
"Why would you do something so stupid?" I yelled as I grasped his hand in mine and examined his knuckles.
"Love makes you do stupid things" he replied and I stood frozen. I didn't know what to say or how to react after his statement.
I noticed that his knuckles had gotten red so I blew on it softly then I heard him speak "My mom used to be kind to me too but yet she cheated on my dad. Sapphire was also kind to me yet she used both Jongho and I. I don't know what makes you different. I can't help but want to get close to you."
He said as my tear dripped on his hand. I quickly wiped it hoping that he didn't notice.
"It's not like I can go back in the past and change what I've done but I regret not accepting it and telling you." He let out as he fidgetted with my fingers.
"You've hurt me and now you're hurting yourself San," I said finally looking at him.
"I'm a monster y/n. I really don't know why you would even like me. I'm not worth you or your time. I'm not worth your love either. I make stupid mistakes and hurt my love ones. I'm sorry" he said and I saw him whimper.
"We're humans. We will make mistakes in life but it's how we grow up from it that matters" I said as I wiped his cheeks clean of tears.
He leaned in and placed a kiss on my forehead and at that moment, I couldn't help but cry.
Broken, we were.
I've never seen him so vulnerable. I want to convince myself that he was genuine about his feelings but I needed to do this alone and with no thoughts.
"I admit that what I did was wrong." He said " I want to be able to call you mine and to hug you and cuddle and just-" he said stopping as he placed his chin on my shoulder, hugging me.
"I know whatever happened here today was probably for the best. I don't know when the guys would let us out but I need some time alone to process all of this." I said in a whisper.
He nodded as he placed kisses on my exposed skin, moaning between each kiss.
Finally looking at me, he leaned in and kissed me again then said "Take as much time as you need, just know that I'll always be here"
