Dare || m.c.

➵ 3.4 - jade

this is an extreeeemely long chapter brace yourself

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The sense of déjà vu was incredibly strong. The old fear was still there, the one that always warned Jade to stay away from people and not open up to them. Now she had more reason than ever to not trust Michael, to keep away from him, but likewise, she also had more reason than ever before to try to be his friend, to be there for him in case he needed someone to help support him.

And Jade wasn't necessarily telling Michael about her mother because she wanted him to know. It was mostly because she had talked about it with Ashton so much she felt like all she ever did anymore was complain to him about her life. He didn't need to hear any of the shit that went on his her life. Sure, he was her best friend and had helped her through a lot, but Jade still felt like she was dumping everything on him. At least with Michael now, it was more balanced. Jade was somewhat helping him and in return he would somewhat listen to her. Even if he did nothing. Because there really wasn't much that he could do.

"Can you promise me something, Michael?" Jade said with looking at him. She had made the mistake of spilling everything to him before, and although he hadn't used that information against her, Jade was still fearful about opening up to Michael again. It wasn't because she wanted to be; it was just an instinctive response to how people had treated her in the past.

"Don't ask me to promise something you know I can't," Michael replied just as quietly, guilt lacing his voice.

Jade thought for a second how to best phrase what she wanted to say, but couldn't exactly figure it out. "I know I've told you stuff before and I know you haven't told anyone else about it and I appreciate that. But I need to know that I can trust you this time. Last time didn't turn out so good," Jade paused to catch her breath. "But we're starting over and I want a clean start for this, too." She looked at Michael then and found him already looking at her, the flashlight from the phone casting an eerie glow on his face. "Can you promise me that I won't regret this?"

Michael took minute before answering, which made Jade a little anxious. "No," he finally said, fiddling with his hands. "There's a good chance that you might regret this because I am a complete and utter idiot. I'll probably do or say something that'll piss you off and make you wish you'd never talked to me. But I don't think any of that could get worse than what we've already been through."

The honesty was enough for Jade. He wasn't making empty promises about not hurting her or not letting her down. The sincerity in his words satisfied Jade and she smiled a little, though Michael was still looking down at his hands. Then she remembered what she had come here to get off her chest and the smile was wiped off her face.

"So I met my mother," Jade said and the change in her tone was so obvious it was a wonder Michael didn't look up. Instead, he kept staring at his hands, twiddling his fingers around. Jade wasn't even sure that he heard her. "Hey, you okay?" She touched his shoulder and Michael's eyes snapped up to hers.

"Yes, I'm fine," he said and then gave her a rueful smile. "You're really nice, Jade. I'm sorry for being an asshole."

"We're past that, right?" Jade stretched her legs and then hugged them to her chest. The ground was starting to get a little uncomfortable and it was warm out.

"Yeah, sorry. Okay, tell me about your mom."

"Not my mom," Jade said darkly. "My mom is gone and I miss her a lot. My mother, though, she's something else. I met her eighteen days ago and it didn't go well. I basically ended up yelling at her because I got too overwhelmed knowing that she just gave me up. Just like that. And that she kept her other daughter. My sister." Jade stopped, realizing she hadn't taken a breath since she started talking and that Michael was staring at her with his mouth open. "Sorry."