To Capture a Clown

Soft Touches

The days dragged by, and all you could think about was seeing Arthur at Pogos. You worried that his laughter would get the best of him and he'll embarrass himself. That's why you'll sit in the very front row so that every time he looks in the audience he'll see your supporting smile.

Tuesday evening you were sitting at your rose gold vanity getting ready to see Arthur. The more you thought about him, the more your mind started to wonder. You wondered how it would feel to hold him, to touch him, without boundaries and let your hands freely explore his skin. You pressed your thighs together in arousal. How could he make you feel this way without even doing anything? He was just him. Although you knew it was strange to fantasize about a man you didn't really know, it didn't stop you from sliding your hand down into your pants. The pressure of your fingers made you shudder. You imagined it was Arthur's hand fingering you and gripping your breast. "Arthur." You quietly moaned his name, slowly approaching your climax. You started pumping yourself faster while adding another finger. Your eyes rolled and your head fell back against your seat. You were right on the edge....

"Why do you always have this door locked?!" Henry said struggling to open the door. You tried to hurry and finish before he twisted the lock open with his fingernail. But there was no hope. He twisted the door unlocked and saw you fumbling around with your skirt. But luckily he didn't see anything else.

"Wow, you look good. Why are you so dressed up?" You desperately tried to contain yourself, but you haven't orgasmed in months, so it was hard trying to hide your frustration.

"I'm going to Pogo's." You said in a huff.

"Seriously?! When were you going to tell me.?" You slowly looked at Henry, nervous a fight was brewing. "I fucking love that place. I'm coming with you."

You didn't say a word but the frustration and disappointment on your face said it all. This was your chance to spend some quality time with Arthur and get to know him even more. But of course like everything else your life, Henry fucking ruins it. Why does he have to slither his way into everything you do in life?

"What's wrong with you? Do you have a problem with me joining you?" He said with a smirk, knowing that you were hiding something from him the second he walked in the room.

"No, of course not." You smiled a painful smile.

The drive to Pogos was quiet and tense. All you could think about is what would happen if Henry found out about your feelings toward Arthur. You didn't care much about your marriage, but if Henry knew that you were fond of Arthur he would make his life a living hell.

Henry pulled into a parking spot at Pogo's and you rushed out the car. He was driving significantly slower than usual so you basically had to run and meet Arthur before he went on stage. You went behind the curtains to search for him, but all you saw was other people getting ready for their acts. I hope he hasn't already gone you thought to yourself. With heavy shoulders and a wilted spirit, you sadly walked from backstage.

"Hey, you!" Arthur said, waving fast with excitement. He was standing near the entrance the whole time. You put a hand on your chest and exhaled loudly.

"Hey, I was looking for you. I was so nervous that I missed your act. I reserved the very front seat, so if you get nervous you can look at me. I-I mean if that even helps." You chuckle nervously and babbled on. Arthur watched you with admiration as you spoke. He had the sudden urge to touch you, to hold you, for even being concerned for his well being. The fact that you reserved a spot to be close to him was enough to make his heart flutter and blood rushed to his cheeks. But that feeling wasn't enough to distract him from his anxiety that was gaining momentum by the second. And it didn't help when Henry decided to join you guys.

"Well well, you ran awfully fast from the car. Hmmm, I wonder why?" Henry's eyes bore into Arthur's and he instinctively put his head down. Henry reeked of an alpha male standing next to Arthur.

"Because I wanted to wish Arthur good luck. Now he's about to go up and I want to go sit down." You snapped at Henry, earning a smirk from him. "Good luck Arthur." You softly touched his hand giving it a gentle squeeze and dragged Henry to your seats. But not even a touch of an angel could save Arthur now, his heart was beating at an alarming rate. Then he heard himself being introduced to the audience.

"Please help me welcome Arthur Fleck!" There was a loud applause coming from the audience. But it didn't matter to Arthur because as soon as he got to the microphone he started laughing. At first, there was some laughter in the audience but it became very awkward very soon.

"Hello, it's good to be here." Painful laughter struck him, lasting a full minute. He held his neck in an attempt to suppress it.

"I-I" He Laughs. " I-I hated school as a kid." He laughed some more and covered his mouth with his arms, and decided to start over.

"I hated school as a kid. My mother would say 'You should enjoy it. One day you'll have to work for a living.' No, I won't ma, I'm gonna be a comedian." You started laughing while also on the verge of tears. You felt so bad for him, the only thing you wanted to do was snatch him off the stage and hug him. But beside you, Henry had another idea. He looked around at the people beside and behind him and yelled "what the fuck" loud enough for Arthur to hear. But Arthur pretended he didn't. He instead looked at you with a smile full of sorrow, and you smiled back.

As his act went on, it became harder and harder to hold in your tears of rage and pity. Rage for Henry (who was clearly enjoying seeing Arthur suffer), and pity for Arthur who told himself the audience was laughing at him, not Henry. You left Pogo's and sobbed uncontrollably outside.