The Program [Book Two of The Test]

Chapter Eighteen

The Program

Chapter Eighteen

Especially now, I regret never truly saying goodbye to Marcus before going through with this plan that put my life in the hands of the very people I was desperate to destroy.

Now that i've told John about Jack's mom being alive, about all Reid did to keep her that way, I think we both are a bit homesick for our families.

I heard him chuckle beside me, a happy sound from him i've actually only ever heard a few times around my presence. He was probably thinking back, recalling a memory.

But whatever the reason, it was good to see a slight laugh like his, from someone i've known to be a close friend over the last few weeks, especially considering the place we are currently. 

Bumping shoulders with him, I said, "What's got you all happy? Did you tell yourself a funny joke and it was so hilarious you couldn't hold it in even a tiny bit, so a laugh escaped?"

He shook his head, slumping against the tree again and looking directly at me. "Nah, just thinking back."

"About?" I pressed.

"My mom and dad, and Jack too I guess." He paused. "If you think about it, it's kinda funny that I can even think back to memories with them at all right now, considering how everything went down in here before."

"Puh-lease." I snorted, waving a hand. "We're disrupters, we can do anything. Memories would have been flooding through your head so quick if we were stuck in that situation again."

"Yeah, well," He looked at me, his eyes seeming to be a darker blue than normal. "Now we have a different situation to deal with."

"And no plan on how to get out." I added. He nodded in agreement. "Hey, John," I started nervously, him focusing on me. "What if we never get out? W-what if neither of us ever see our parents, or my brother, or Annie, Danny, Natalie, a-and Jack..." I trailed off, feeling my tears about to break through. Then, John placed his hand on my shoulder, a sympathetic gesture I wasn't exactly expecting to ever come from him where I was concerned.

"Everything is going to be okay, Lexi." He whispered. Scooting closer, he wrapped his arms around me, and me not caring that he did so.

He was still saying comforting words, or at least that's what I assumed given the tone he kept using, me not hearing much of the words because he was mumbling the whole time.

And then suddenly I was crying into his shoulder, my sobbing giving way and snot practically dripping from my nose in a messy frenzy of emotions.

Yes, I was that upset.

"I-I'm never going to see them again. My b-brother, i'll never get to tease him or have another meaningless fight, refer to him as my twin to literally everyone, never get to say goodbye and I just..." My crying was still taking over. "And my mom, oh god, that look she gave me right before I went through with this stupid plan. When I went full blown bananas on Reid and she just, looked at me, like she finally understood all the lies and pain and trouble that man put me through, and i'll never get to see her again. I'm not ever going to see either of them, or my dad, or anyone else I care about ever again."