Mrs. Chou (Book 1)

Chapter 19: Not Your Typical Therapy

Finding out that her mom died of cancer, sent images back in my mind from when my mom died. I know the feeling that she must have gone through, because I too have gone through the same thing.

The tramautizing feeling of being left alone in the world as your mother leaves this earth. How abadoned she must have felt to witness it in the first place. I remember when my mom died and how I felt, so I know she went through the same thing.

She said in her notebook that her mom was the only one to take her pain away. My mom was the only one who could do that also. Even though I had my dad, he wasn't the real sentimental type so I really didn't go to him for advice or anything that would help me when I felt depressed.

My mom was the one who lifted me up and made me feel a whole lot better no matter what I was going through. She knew what to say and do to make me feel like I wasn't alone in the world, and that I could always come to her when I needed someone.

Now that she's gone, I have no one.

I looked over at Hanbin as he was driving and I started thinking about when we first met. I wasn't the best at making friends, but he was the type who could make any friend he wanted, and everyone loved him. He just came into my life one day and he's been my best friend ever since.

But as I'm looking at him and thinking about when we met, I can't help but think about all the lies that I told him and how he knows nothing about what I go through in my life. He knows about my mom passing away, my dad leaving and how I stay with my sister, but he has no idea what goes on behind closed doors when I'm home with her.

No one does.

The feeling of regret surfaced in my chest as I think about how awful of a person I am to be lying to one of my best friends, only best friend. I could have told him the truth at the beginning, I mean, he would of understood. He's my best friend after all. Why wouldn't he understand?

We pulled down a dirt road and I looked around but couldn't recognize anything. There were tree after tree, and dirt after dirt. Nothing really around here and now I'm thinking about where we're going.

I looked over at him and asked him, but all he said was that it was a place that no one knew about except for him. I didn't argue as I sat there and watched out the window. I trusted him enough to not bring me out to the forest and murder me.

As we were driving, I could see out in the distance that there was water. When we started getting closer, I noticed that it was a lake, and like he said, nobody was here. It was completely secluded.

We parked and he told me to follow him. We walked out to the lake and I was amazed by it. It was so beautiful out here, and it was even more amazing as the sun was slowly setting, but not completely gone from the sky just yet.

I watched as he stood there and he looked over at me then smiled. "Do you know how I know about this place?" I shook my head as I watched him smile then look out over the lake. "I was about sixteen, and my parents had an argument one night," I stood there, staring at him as he continued, "I was upset with them because they usually don't fight very often, so I left to clear my head and get away," he kept staring out on the lake as I stood there, listening. "I didn't have many places to go, and I didn't want to just drive around, so I found an old dirt road and decided to take it to see where it lead to because I never went down there," he bent down and grabbed a rock and held it. "I kept driving and I didn't know where I was going, because like I said, I never went down here," he smiled as he held the rock in his hands. "When I came to this lake, I decided to stop and check it out. There wasn't anyone here, and I didn't see any houses as I was driving down here, so I knew that I wouldn't get shot or anything," I chuckled as he smiled. "I walked out to this spot, I looked over the lake and thought about how my parents were arguing, and that's when I screamed," I stared at him as he was looking down at the rock. When I didn't say anything, he looked up at me and smiled, "I screamed to let all my frustrations out, all my stress and anger that I had. It felt great and I kept screaming until I felt hell of a lot better," he threw the rock and I watched as it hit the water.