21. A dream to live or reality to deny.

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{A/N
Mention of light smut at the end of the chapter. Please listen to the song before or during reading the chapter.}


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Magnus was trembling, crying uncontrollably, screaming for his shadowhunter to come back. That was the last thing he remembered before everything went black. He was awake but he wasn't able to open his eyes, he felt his bed beneath him, he tried to open his eyes but a voice rang in his ears.

"It's better to die than live like this. I won't be able to live in this pain you've given me, Magnus."

He frowned and tried calling his husband once again, but he didn't know where he was and what was happening. He tried to open his eyes once again. He felt like someone was shaking him, but he was focused on his shadowhunter. He wanted him back, so he tried calling him once again.

This time, though, he jolted and sat up straight on his bed, and finally, he was able to open his eyes. The first thing he noticed was that he was completely drenched in his own sweat, was breathing heavily and tears were streaming down his face. He tried to remember how he got in his bed but he came up empty. 'Maybe someone saw me and put me here.' he thought to himself. Then he tried to remember the last thing that happened and it came back to him like a floodgate.

"A.. Alexander, p.. please... I'm... I'm sorry-"

"Shut up! Just shut up. I'm done with it. I never thought you would do this to me. I loved you, but you, Magnus. All I want to do is die right now. We're done, Magnus. I can't be here anymore. I'm leaving, and don't try to find me, Magnus Bane!"

"ALEXANDER! NO, NO, NO! STOP! PLEASE!" He fell in his place and started crying uncontrollably. "Stop! Please, stop! Don't leave me, please! Forgive me! Please don't leave me! Please don't!"

The memory of that hit him like a brick wall. He needed to find his husband. He tried to calm his breathing and focused on his surroundings. He was in bed drenched in his own sweat, the blinds were out and it looked like it was midnight. 'Midnight? How long was I out? That.. that all definitely happened in the evening. Who took me here? What's happening?' he thought to himself. He was really confused and he still felt like someone was shaking him. He tried to focus on his surroundings once again and this time he heard a familiar concerned voice.

"Magnus? Mags? Are you okay? Magnus?"

His eyes shot up at that and he looked around to find his husband looking at him with worry and concern. He couldn't believe it, his shadowhunter was right beside him looking at him with concern-filled eyes.

"ALEXANDER!" He shouted and jumped in his arms and started crying uncontrollably. "Forgive me! Forgive me, please. Don't leave me! Please, don't leave me." He said in between the sobs.

Alec held him tightly in his arms and rubbed soothing circles on his back. "Shh, Shh, I'm here! I'm here, love. I'm not leaving you. What happened? Did you have the nightmare again?"

"N... Nightmare? What? What are you talking about? Y... You... I.. C.. Camille.." he trailed off and looked at his surroundings once again. "Th... That was a dream? B..But.."

"Magnus?" Alec asked softly. "Are you okay? You were trembling so badly in your dream, shouting my name, screaming loudly. I was so terrified. You scared the hell out of me!"

"D...Dream? N... Nightmare? What happened? I.. I thought I lost you. You.. you l..left..."

"Mags! I'm right here. What did you see Magnus?"

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