Together We Fall

Chapter 26

My chest continues rising and falling quickly.

"Focus on me," he says, squeezing my shoulders and my breathing slows down a little bit, "listen to my voice when I say it'll all be okay."

My breaths become steady as I watch him handle me with such delicacy and care.

I let out a deep breath and when I open my eyes, I'm better.

He straightens up and removes his hands from their previous spot on my shoulder, "We'll be okay, I promise."

He takes my hand and we walk to get inside the truck where he tries his cell phone. He keeps a calm demeanor and I can't help but feel like I'm the reason he feels the need to pretend not to be worried. Unless he really does mean what he says, 'everything will be okay'.

"I can't get a signal up here but there's a gas station about five miles north. If we get going now we can reach it about one o'clock and we'll see where we go from there."

I nod and he gives me a soft smile, "I'm so sorry about all of this."

He doesn't need to be sorry for anything. It's not his fault his truck died, that's not something he can control. It's just an accident that happened to occur at a really bad time.

"You don't have anything to be sorry for," I tell him honestly before teasing, "maybe if you bought a truck that wasn't from the eighteen hundreds." he laughs and reaches across me to pat the dashboard.

"Ah, I can't just get rid of Missy."

We get out of the truck and he puts a few bottles of water in my bag since I have the most room left in mine. We grab the nutella, bread, M&Ms and board game, tossing them into his bag before closing the truck doors and making our way down the dark, quiet highway.

He had his bag slung over his left shoulder and I've got mine. He tried carrying them both but I wouldn't let him so he took the heavier one.

"How do you know there's a gas station down here?" I ask him and he shrugs but I don't miss the way he doesn't look at me. He keeps his eyes trained on the concrete in front of him.

"My dad and I were around here one night." he tells me casually but there's no truth to his tone of voice. It isn't a 'casual' topic at all, he's just playing pretend.

I want him to know he can talk to me about his family if he wants to. That I'll listen and only talk if he wants me to. Learning more about him is intriguing to me. I want to know about his childhood but it seems every time that topic is brought up he shoots it down.

I want him to know he can tell me anything. I want him to know he can trust me with anything.

"My parents got divorced when I was twelve years old," I start, "my parents were in love but things just got complicated. Dad started working too much and it became an obsession instead of a job. Mom didn't like him spending so much time not around his family so that led to a bunch of disagreements that eventually escalated into arguments that soon turned into verbal fights. Mom said he needed to change, he didn't. She filed for a divorce and before I knew it, I was moving to Tennessee."

Even though I'm not looking at him, I can feel him watching me. He's taking in my every word, concentrating on the meaning behind all of them.

If he doesn't want to tell me anything that's okay. I just want him to understand that he can. The best way I know to help him understand that is by doing it myself. I'm not telling him about myself in hopes he'll do the same. I'm telling him this so he'll know I feel comfortable enough too and that if he were to want to share, I'll be as great a listener as he is.