Mrs. Chou (Book 1)

Chapter 12: Time

She never knew.

Until a day ago.

I never imagined that I would ever tell her any of those things, because when I thought about it, I wanted to crawl in a hole and hide forever. But I had the guts to actually tell her everything, in front of her, in her classroom.

I didn't have a choice really, because she thought that I was experimenting with her and I wasn't. She needed to know the truth because I didn't want her thinking I was using her, not even for a second.

Even if that meant pouring my heart out, regretting everything in my existence, fearing school for the rest of my life, wanting to crawl under a rock, and everything in between, at least I told her the truth.
But now she's out of my life and I don't know if what I did was such a good idea or not.

Hanbin caught up with me as I was walking down the hall to art class. He slung his arm around my shoulder and smiled at me. "Are you ready for tonight?" I looked at him and smiled. I really couldn't wait to meet his parents, I heard things about them from him and they seem so amazing.

I wish my mom was still with me. I wish her and dad never separated, because we could of been those families that actually had their shit together.

We walked in the classroom and my eyes immediately found Mrs. Chou, sitting at her desk. I couldn't help but feel my heart shatter into a million tiny pieces just by looking at her.

It really broke my heart.

I sat down in front of my canvas and I watched Hanbin get up and walk to the table for some supplies. My eyes traveled back to the front and I caught Mrs. Chou at her desk, looking down at something on her desk. I felt regret in the pit of my stomach because I threw everything out by telling her about my feelings.
I didn't just lose her as a person, but I lost her as a teacher.

Hanbin came back and sat down with his paint. I watched as he started mixing the paints together on his palette with his brush and he started painting on his canvas.

I was confused because we haven't been assigned to any assignment yet. I watched him as he was painting and I couldn't figure out what he was trying to paint. It didn't look like anything right now but in all, it really didn't look like anything anyways.

I stared at him as his painting started coming out. It took me a good few minutes until I finally figured out what it was.

It was a clock.

I looked at him as he was done and he smiled back at me. "What do you think?" he stared at his canvas and I was trying to figure out what the meaning behind of it was.

"I don't understand," I watched as he smiled at me and nodded in understanding.

"Not many people would understand a picture if they haven't questioned it," wow. He was seriously confusing the hell out of me. He chuckled, "Ok, so when you see a clock, what do you think of?"
I shrugged, "Time?"

He nodded, "Anything else?"

I stared at the canvas for a second. "Minutes, hours, seconds," I mean, there really wasn't much to it, right?
He smiled then sat his palette down and faced me. "That's correct, but also not correct," I made a face to let him know that I was lost. "When anyone looks at a clock, they think about the time, or when a certain time will come for something that is going to happen, like when school is over or work, or when your date is about to come pick you up. We rely on the clock for a thousands things, but not just for time. We rely on it for when someone is about to go into labor, or when someone is about to go into surgery. Maybe someone has a few seconds left to live and we're slowly counting down those last few seconds with them here with us. It's not just about the time of day, but that day in time."

I stared at him as I could not believe what just came out of his mouth. I never knew that he had that kind of side to him and it completely shocked me to a lose of words.

"How the hell are you so dumb and smart at the same time?" it was a complete mystery to me.
He chuckled, "I'll take that as a compliment," I rolled my eyes and heard a voice that sent chills down my spine.

"Today we will just free draw," I heard everyone in the class cheer and I, myself cheered inside my head. I was glad that we didn't have an assignment today because I wasn't really in the mood to do anything that would count as a grade.

I pulled out a pencil and started stretching anything that came to my head. I didn't really have any purpose in drawing anything, but I just winged it.

Hanbin elbowed me and I looked over at him. "Hey, have you noticed yet?" I gave him a confused look. "Mrs. Chou has been stealing glances at you,"

What?

I quickly looked over and immediately saw Mrs. Chou turn her head just in time for my eyes to meet her. I watched as she pretended to do something on her desk, but I could see right through her.

She was looking at me.

I looked at Matt and saw him smile and I rolled my eyes. I ignored him and tried to focus on my drawing, but I couldn't. I could feel Mrs. Chou's eyes on me the whole time, and even though I never looked up, I could tell there was something up.

*

Hanbin decided that it would be a good idea if I could get ready at my house, then he could wait and we could go to his house. I didn't mind, because I didn't really feel comfortable about changing clothes at his house.

As we were riding to my house, I couldn't stop thinking about Mrs. Chou and why she was watching me today. I mean, she told me that she wanted nothing to do with each other again inside or outside of school, so why was she looking at me? Obviously there was something wrong, because the past few days, she hasn't acknowledge me in any way.

As we pulled up, I told Hanbin to wait outside. He didn't argue and I was glad. I know that I'm still lying to him, and I hate it, but I can't let him know any of the truth at the moment.

It's too risky.

I walked up to the door and unlocked it. I didn't know if Yoona was here or not, but I hope she wasn't. I didn't want to have to deal with anything right now knowing that I'll be going out with Hanbin and his family tonight. I couldn't think of how bad everything would be if Yoona left marks on me, and I would have to explain everything to them.

I opened the door and walked in. I looked around and noticed that everything wasn't in a mess, and it looked the same as it did yesterday. I didn't see any signs of any humans being here and it relieved me, but also scared me.

I walked upstairs to my room and changed clothes. I didn't really have any good clothes to wear tonight because Yoona takes all of them, but I can improvised.

I decided on my faded blue jeans with a blouse shirt. It seemed about right with this type of evening. It wasn't over the top, or under dressed. It was just right.
I changed my clothes and made sure I had everything before I left. I didn't want to forget anything, or accidentally leave the house unlocked where Jessica or anyone can just walk right in.

I walked down the stairs, and that's when I started thinking; the last time I saw Yoona, she didn't hit me or yell at me. She left and that was the last time I saw her. I didn't see her this morning, and she wasn't here now, but she's usually gone longer than this so I shouldn't 0verthink it.

But there's something in my gut that's telling me that something isn't right, and I'm pretty sure that tonight isn't going to be as great as I hoped for.