Way Down I'll Go

Death, be not Proud

Her eyes widened.

"You mean...?"

He smiled. 

"No...that's a bridge I don't want to try to cross right now." 

He twirled a strand of her hair around his finger. 

"But...is it okay if I kiss you?"

She pulled his head down to meet her lips and kissed him. He explored her mouth gently, fingers gliding over her skin, mapping the softness of her body. Slowly, he trailed his lips down her ear and onto her neck, breathing in the scent of her as he kissed the smooth skin at her throat. She shuddered, and he smiled against her. With unhurried, opulent movements, he continued his exploration across her silk-covered chest and then trailed down to her stomach. With caught breath, she leaning down and kissed his jaw and earlobe. It sent him over the edge and he and grabbed her, crashing into her mouth again, searching it urgently with his own as she responded in kind.

The sudden movement jarred his ribs, but he continued, ignoring the churning in his gut in favor of other sensations he'd never felt before. She moved against him and he pushed her down, bending to kiss her again, which sent his stomach spinning. Pulled away, he knelt on the bed, hunching over his abdomen.

"Baby-"

"'M okay," he murmured, willing the nausea to pass.

It did eventually, but a wave of exhaustion hit him next and he sunk wearily into the mattress. Rachel's arm wrapped around him and he pulled her against his chest.

The sleep that had eluded him all night crept in and the last thing he was aware of was Rachel's beating heart against his own.

_______

Rachel's sternum cracked in two as she watched the boys hug their brother goodbye. They had decided as a family that it would be best for them to go to school while Jo was in surgery. Waiting only made them more anxious and school was a needed distraction. But as they clung to their brother, it was clear they understood that this might be the last time they saw him.

He climbed back in the car, letting out a small sigh.

"Ready?" 

His smile was forced.

She nodded, determined not to cry. She'd done enough of that for several lifetimes.

The check-in process whirled by and before she knew it, she was holding Jo's hand as they put in his second IV and scrubbed his chest with chlorhexidine.

"Do you want to mark him up?" the nurse asked, trying to lighten the mood.

Rachel grinned with enthusiasm she didn't feel and grabbed the sharpie.

"Any last words?" she winked.

He laughed, and the sound made her the broken pieces of her heart shatter further. Since their talk in the woods, he laughed more. Loudly. Authentically.

"How about, 'You can take the tumor, but the heart belongs to Rachel'." 

His eyes twinkled as the words left him.

A breath-choking laugh broke from her. He joined in and the nurse giggled shaking her head.

"That's so bad!" Rachel snorted.

"It's really bad, dude," the nurse agreed.

"I'm so writing that!"

"It'll get a laugh from the surgeon, that's for sure."