Broken

Part 23

Hi All!

This chapter is a little shorter, but it feels special to me. I hope you enjoy it.

Please leave me a comment and let me know what you think. I would really appreciate it :) 

*****

Sophia's Point of View

It was midnight by the time I finally mustered up the courage to go talk to Angel. I stood in front of his apartment door and took a deep breath. After I talked to EZ, I really didn't feel much better but at least I knew where he stood. I was fighting a battle between my heart and my head. Part of me wondered if I was even ready to be in a relationship with anyone, but I couldn't ignore my feelings for Angel. I had to be sure he really felt the same way.

I used my key and quietly let myself into the apartment, unsure of whether or not Angel was awake or asleep. I knew he was home because his bike was in the parking lot. The apartment was dark but I could see Angel asleep on the couch. His jeans and his boots were still on but his shirt was off and laying on the back of the couch. As I watched him sleep, my heart fluttered slightly. Angel had been the only thing on my mind for the last three days. Whether I was angry with him, frustrated with him, or unsure of what his motives were, I always found myself thinking back to that kiss and the way it made me feel.

I jumped when Angel breathed in deeply and opened his eyes and looked over at me. He didn't look surprised to see me there.

"What are you doing here, Soph?" he asked, his voice filled with sleep. He sat up and looked over at her. He reached over for his cigarettes on the coffee table, waiting for me to answer.

"I had to see you," I mumbled, "I wanted to talk to you about the other night. The things you said, the way you kissed me...did you really mean it?"

"What? You think I was just pretending?" he asked defensively as he glared over at me, "I can be an ass Sophia, but you should know me better than that."

"I didn't say that, Angel," I replied calmly, "Given our track record, I just don't know what to think. It's a bit of a pattern with you. You get really close and just when I think that we are on the same page, you pull away. It's happened more times than I can count. I just wanted clarification. You said all those things the other night...are you going to pull away from me again?"

"Sophia, you deserve so much better than what I can give you," Angel said, "You were always in danger when your parents were alive and whether you're with me or with EZ that will never change."

I rubbed my forehead with my hand and let out a deep sigh as I stared back at him. I just wanted Angel to open up to me without being afraid, but I didn't see that happening and then I remembered what EZ said to me about not giving up on Angel. I walked over and sat down on the coffee table in front of him and reached for his hands.

"Shouldn't I have a say, Angel?" I asked him, "Shouldn't I be able to choose what I want?"

"Sophia, I can't promise that I am always going to be able to protect you," Angel said in a barely audible whisper, "If something happened to you, I don't think I could live with that."

"Aren't you tired, Angel?" I asked, getting frustrated.

"Tired? Tired of what?" he asked.

"Tired of fighting the obvious," I replied sarcastically, "tired of fighting your feelings, because you look exhausted..."

"I can't do this with you right now, Sophia," he grumbled, "Go to bed, you can sleep in the bedroom...we'll talk later."

I looked deep into his eyes and the longer I stared the angrier I got. I took a deep breath and stood up.

"You know what? Forget it, Angel," I snapped, "I'm done. I'm so fucking done with this and I'm tired of all your excuses. Just remember who kissed who first that night...because it sure as hell wasn't me."

I let his hands go before I stood up and stormed into the bedroom, slamming the door in frustration. I leaned against the door for a moment and took a deep breath and tried to fight the tears that were threatening to fall.

"Get your shit together Sophia," I muttered as I went over to his dresser and pulled the second drawer open. I had moved most of my stuff to Hank's over the last month so I didn't have anything to wear to bed. I pulled out a black t-shirt and changed into it. I held the material of the shirt to my nose and breathed in deeply. It still smelled of Angel.

"Enough..." I mumbled to myself, "It's not worth the fight anymore..."

I turned off the light and I crawled into bed, pulling the blankets up to my chin. As I closed my eyes a single tear escaped but I didn't bother to wipe it away. For the first time in three months I felt more alone than I had ever felt before. My mom was gone, Hank was busy, but he tried his best, and EZ and Angel had both pulled away from me.

I turned my back to the door and willed sleep to take over. I just wanted the day to be done.