You're Shit At Lying

Chapter 85 - Ceramic Tiles

ETHAN'S POV:
"Come on bog, lets go back upstairs yeah?" I said scratching the back of my head nervously, not wanting the Josh to hear us talking. He's obviously in a bad mood, and I don't want Harry to get caught up in whatever this argument is. He shook his head. I wasn't expecting that. "You always complain about me not seeing you all, so now I am." He spoke his mind, and suddenly I felt unbelievably guilty. He's trying to do the right thing, just in the wrong way. "Right now isn't a good time," I admitted as I took his hand and walked to the stairs. He sighed in defeat as he let me lead him back up to his room, trailing closely behind me. Talia smiled to us both and walked into the kitchen, allowing herself to take a break from constantly being with Harry. I get it. It can really drain you sometimes.

Once we reached the door, I walked in and straight away, I was confronted by the strong stench that whisked itself around the room. "Oh my fucking god." I gasped out in shock, holding my nose closed with my one free hand. "Bog it stinks in here." I stated, finally letting go of his hand to walk over to the window, opening it as wide as it could go. I watched, as he smelt the air, obviously immune to the ghastly smell. I giggled to myself as he shrugged his shoulders and sat on the bed. Still stood at the window, I looked over to him, and watched as he trailed the cuts on his arms delicately with his finger, going over each and every one. He frowned, as he pressed deeper into his arm, suddenly wincing at the pain. "I'm gonna get a shower." He said simply, and I shot a worried glance his way. I feel bad for saying it, but I kind of don't trust him to be alone in there. "I'll be fine." He said slowly whilst he stood up, covering his arms as best as he could, as he saw me looking down to them. "Y-Yeah uh okay. I'll just uh, I'll clean up in here a bit." I stuttered out, not really knowing what to say or do. He looked at me for another few seconds, before turning round and leaving the room.

HARRY'S POV:
My head is a mess. I don't know what I was thinking earlier. I just wanted to prove that I was okay. Which I know is stupid, because I'm not okay. I mean, I'm really not okay. I stared into the my reflection as I undressed myself. I was disgusted by the sight, yet I just couldn't bring myself to look away, and then, just like that, I let my mind go where it always does. I opened up the cabinet to my left and searched through it rapidly, looking for anything I could use. They must of threw everything away, because the only stuff in there was soap and toilet roll. Frustrated, I walked to the shower and turned the water on, and let out a short angry scream. I knew that ethan would be at the door any second, so I stood and waited, ready to open the door to tell him I was okay. I'll just say I screamed because the water was really hot. He'll believe that.

I let the boiling water dribble over my skin, as I stood against the cold tiles. I like having hot showers. All my thoughts were going one hundred miles an hour, yet I stood so still. I held my arms tightly as I spoke to myself. "Why?" I breathed out. "Why do I need to do it?" A question I've wanted the answer to for a really long time. "Why do I do this to myself so much? What the hell is wrong with me? Am I really that crazy? Am I actually crazy? Do the boys think that? Does Ethan think that? Does Talia? Freya? Simon? Josh? Jj? Do they judge me because of it? They're not that cruel right? Is it even cruel? It's just honesty isn't it?"

"What the fuck is wrong with me?" I choked out as I slowly ran my hands through my hair. A sudden rush of anger filled me, so I launched my fist at the closest thing to me. I suppressed my cries as my hand came into contact with the rock solid ceramic tiles on the wall, shutting my eyes tightly as the blood poured from my once clean knuckles. I reopened my eyes once I placed my hand under the running water from above me, watching as the dark red liquid turned to a lighter shade, spilling down the drain effortlessly. It was almost captivating.

heyy so just wanted to say i have another book/story thingy out! it's basically an original story,, also my first. this one is still my main priority so don't worry lmao :))) it's called 'a scarred love story' so yeah have a read if you want. would mean a lot <3