You're Shit At Lying

Chapter fifteen - You've Got This

HARRY'S POV:
After a while, I managed to get some decent conversation with everyone flowing. A few bumps in the road had tried to stop me, but with a little bit of support and guidance I easily smoothed them out.
If you act like your normal, happy and chilled they'll see that your okay and won't send you to any sort of hospital. You've got this.

Just act naturally and you'll be fine, I promise you. You're doing great Harry.

It's okay. Just brush it off, smooth it over. You'll be just fine. Forget he ever said that.

Honestly, this voice is offen my greatest enemy, but he can be my greatest friend when he wants. He'll either be in the mood to put me down, or he'll be the one to bring me back up to my feet. Harry. I don't actually know what I'd do without him sometimes, even though most of the time I just want him gone, to leave me alone. He tries his hardest to make life an absolute living hell for me, he does that pretty well. Harry. I hate him most of the time. That's funny really, because this that voice i hear so often is actually me so this is just another way of saying I hate myself. Which I do, it's fine tho. Like, yeah I hate Harry Lewis. So what? Nothing wrong with that. I want to just disappear, then that way I wouldn't have to deal with myself anymore.

"Harry!" I snap my head up to Simon, seeing a slightly worried expression covering his face. "I said your name like five times, what were you thinking about?" He questioned. "I wasn't thinking about anything Simon" I giggled, and focused on a conversation the others were having about football. What? It's not like I'm just gonna break and tell Simon what I was actually thinking about. 'Yeah, sorry I zoned out. I was just in my head wishing I could dissapear. Just wondering what it would be like if I never even existed, wishing I never existed.' No thank you. Whilst the boys where taking they seemed distracted, about every minute or so someone would look back to me with a strange look on their face, then go back to focus on the others. It gave me a rather uneasy feeling, though I just tried my hardest to ignore it. That's the thing though, I tried to ignore it. Not that I did, but I tried.

Jj looked over to me, shortly followed by vikk, about a minute or so later, Ethan's head turned to face me. Like routine, someone always seemed to have an eye on me. Stop looking at me. Please. Please just stop. Tobi looked over once more, then i finally gave in, without an excuse I ran out of the kitchen, up the stairs and into the nearest bathroom, found my way to the toilet and sat infront if it, my face over the top of it, whilst I was wretching over and over. Nothing came out, though I still continued to gag. I felt a hand on my back and I instantly froze, not knowing who it was, and instantly regretting not locking the door behind me. I sat over the toilet for another few minutes, with the mystery hand running my back in warm circles, calming me over time. "You should probably get some food in you" I heard Simons voice to the side of me, coming from the door way. Firstly I looked up to see it was josh who was above me, then to the door to see pretty much everyone standing there. I instantly launched myself back over the toilet again and wished for something to come up as i gagged, causing lots of pain in my chest.

JOSHS POV:
After about five minutes we had Harry in the kitchen again, he was sat at the huge table island with his head in his hands. Simon sat next to him and I listened to theirs brief conversation.
"So what happened just then?" Simon aksed.
"Nothing, I'm okay" Harry simply responded.
"Seriously Harry, no. What was that just then? You literally darted out of the room so quickly. What happened?" He strongly persisted.
"Just g-got an, um, a bad stomach" Harry stuttered. Even from across the giant table I could tell that was a lie, and apparently so could Simon. He shook his head, left his seat and walked across the room. He seemed to be getting fed up with Harry quite a lot recently, and I don't think it's doing him any good, as i heard him lightly sniffle and saw him wipe back at tear as he raised his head and started playing with his hands. One question lingered in my mind. Does Harry know we saw the, umm, that stuff? Or does he not have a clue. I walked over to one of the many empty seats and just as i was about to sit down, Simon had come back over and chucked a plate full of food down infront of Harry. "Eat that, you need to get some food In your stomach, it's empty." He muttered, before walking out the room and up the stairs. I mean he wasn't wrong about that. I haven't seen him eate a single thing since he's been here, and that was about three days now. Adding another thing we might have to worry about to the list.