Infatuated (Unedited)

Chapter 8

"Yeah because he thinks I'm Simone! I'm not fooled by any of this bullshit because I see it for exactly what it is! Nicolas didn't see me and fall instantly in love. Hell if he feels anything at all it's not for me but for my soul! If you think for one second I am going to smile and soak up the glory of this man 'going out of his way' to do shit for me you seriously got me fucked up!"

"Like I told you before, Nicolas is attached to you for some other reason. Each and every time you open your mouth I see less and less of Simone and being that she was the love of his life I'm sure he knows that there are clear cut differences between the two of you! For one, she would be appreciative of what he's doing despite not liking it. Nicolas has an attachment to you Rayne and until it is known why or what it is you'll have to deal with him."

My frustration level has jumped unbelievably high but at the same time something inside of me is agreeing with him. I will never be able to get back to my life before all of this if I don't get to the bottom of things. "So what do you suggest I do? Just accept him controlling my life? Roll over and take everything he's handing me?"

The obvious annoyance on Roland's face faded. Deep down I know he understands where I'm coming from but his loyalty and possibly knowing more than I do about Nicolas makes him hold his ground. "Wait it out. Go along with what he wants and wait it out. The third time we went through this, her name was Gina. She was the daughter of a preacher and despite what she was raised to believe she loved Nicolas just as Simone had. After years of being with him she decided she didn't want to become what we are. Nicolas was heartbroken but he let her go off to marry another man and bare his children. He never bothered her again. The same could happen for you. If you don't return his feelings he may let you go and never bother you again."

"But," I paused thinking back to that exact moment that he told me about Simone. His tone when he expressed concern over this being the end of her life cycle was strained and contained a lot of desperation. "he said he believes this is the end. He thinks that when I died Simone is gone forever. What good will come out of waiting things out?"

Roland motioned for the truck, "It'll give me some time to figure out how to help you." While my brows fused with confusion I didn't allow that emotion to show in any of my other features. From that alone he must have picked up on it because he gave me a faint smile. "I do think you should give him a chance but I understand what you're feeling. Now come before he comes looking for us."

He started walking ahead of me at a steady pace taking in the abandoned buildings and garbage lined streets. I hesitated before following behind him not sure if I should believe a word he just said and was unable to pinpoint a good reason why he'd want to help me all of a sudden. Was it my quick slip of the tongue about my past or did he genuinely want to help? Before I could think of possible reasons my lips began moving on their own. "Why do you want to help me now?" He glanced over his shoulder at me as if he were getting irritated all over again. "I mean, you seem so loyal to Nicolas--"

"That's because I am." He interject strongly and with force that said he meant those words wholeheartedly.

"Why?"

"Because," Roland tapped on the small device in his hand unlocking the door as we approached it. Like before he walked around to the passenger side and opened the door for me, "he saved my life. Maybe someday I'll tell you my story after you tell me about sleeping on benches."

To that I just nodded and climbed into the truck. I waited for him to close the door behind me before I turned my gaze to the window. The whole ride I remained that way, thankful that Roland didn't say a word to me, allowing me the silence I needed to collect my thoughts about what he might have meant and if I really believe that Nicolas will let me walk away from this if I don't return the feelings. I'm not going to admit this to Roland but he's right. No matter where I go, if I actually had somewhere to go, I think Nicolas will find me. I would be best to figure out exactly what's going on and why this is happening. The idea that I am the object of someone's affection because of my soul; supposedly a long lost love's soul is absolutely ridiculous. If he has been doing this for centuries, shouldn't he know well enough by now that not every person is the same? If there is a such thing as a soul recycling, that doesn't ensure that person will have the exact same personality as before. There has to be another reason for this. There has to be.