Infatuated (Unedited)

Chapter 24

Against my better judgment I took Armand and Claudia back to my apartment. Despite the voice in me and my mind telling me that they're family, I probably shouldn't have taken two strangers back to my place. We're here now, so I guess this thought is pointless.

I told them both to take a seat in the living room while I tossed their coats over my bed. When I rejoined them, Claudia was sitting in Armand's lap with their hands intertwined. Something about that made me smile and I didn't bother covering it up with a bogus excuse.

"So," Claudia broke the silent staring match between us. It's funny how we just went from talking in the street to looking at one another with seemingly nothing to say. "you remember us? Everything?"

"Not exactly. Things come and go. Like when I first saw you guys out there. I had no clue who you were then the names came back to me. I remembered the hand kiss only when I was standing in front of Armand. One minute I'll be seeing something through Simone's eyes then it's back to reality."

Claudia nodded slowly biting down on her lip wiggling her fingers between Armand's. "Does Nicolas know about this?" The way she asked me that gave me the impression that she already knew the answer but was indirectly telling me I should tell him.

"No!" I answered not even a full second later. "I mean, he knows that I know of Simone but that's it."

"And you know about her because you are her, right?" Armand sat up with his question looking to me with hopeful eyes. I feel like I'm about to burst his bubble with my answer but I feel it is important to clarify this situation.

"No, I'm Rayne...just with Simone's memories and feelings. I have dreams or visions--I black out and am thrust into her past where I feel like I'm reliving events from her life. When she met Nicolas, the two of you doing your secret hand kiss, how relieved she was when he told her he paid your father for her hand in marriage, and...his kiss." I blushed thinking about the one from the last dream and the actual kiss from the night before. They were too different kisses but equally as passionate. As Simone I felt he wanted to comfort her but show his love at the same time. With me it seemed like a hunger with something else. "I can feel her at times and feel everything she felt but I am not her."

Like I was fearing, his face fell and he sat back with a heavy sigh. I feel bad for him. I could tell through his hug and the urgency in the kisses on my cheeks that he was truly happy to have his sister back and with what I just said, I took her away all over again. If I were in his place and someone did that with my mom, I would be crushed. On the other hand, I don't know how I could have avoided this. It would have been wrong for me to let him think that I'm someone I'm not and I doubt I could've pretended to be for very long.

"Why did you not explain this to Nicolas? He has wandered this earth since my sister died; a shell of what he once was. The other girls never compared to her and it was only when he met you that he perked up and became as close as he's ever been to his old self."

That worries me. Pushing out of the chair I nestled myself in I walked over to the window peering down at the cars cluttering the street hoping I could use that distraction to mask the true emotions I'm sure are about to show on my face.

"At first I didn't think it would make sense to him. I didn't understand why I was dreaming of his life with her and now that I do," I trailed off bringing my arms around myself, "I feel love for Nicolas and I don't know if it's because of her or not. We just met so everything points to Simone. I feel deeply that I want his love--want him to love me...but not because of her."

Silence fell between us again but it wasn't unnerving. For once I don't care what others in the room are thinking. I needed to say that to make sure that's what I felt and it is. I've never known the kind of love I feel Nicolas and Simone had. The only relationship I had after I escaped Dalton was in no way shape or form a healthy one and it was nothing close to love. Inside my head, I'm envious of Simone and with the way Armand is holding on to Claudia, I'm envious of her too. Every time I slip into one of those dreams, it feels good being in his arms, having his look at me as if I am the only girl in the world, hearing him say he loves me...only it's not me he's talking to.