Life With Boys (ON HOLD)

17:: Telling my secret.

My mind drifted back and forth, trying to imagine their reaction when it suddenly blows up on their faces. I mean, my brother knows about it so he's already sorted out. My dad doesn't. I'm pretty sure he is hoping for me to get a girl and be with her for the rest of my life when it is the opposite of that I want.

I have to tell him, today.

"So, how is your relationship with East? A very nice guy, isn't he?" My dad says calmly while reading news from his phone. I admire the old man, raising all of us alone as one big family.

I clear my throat. "Yeah, Yeah, he is okay."

"Ah, Good. I bet you both talked about your guy shit with each other then. Those days." He looks up to the imaginary cloud or something.

"Well, yes, yes." I feel a bit agitated. My palms became sweaty in ten seconds. I was counting.

"Good to hear that boy. Any plans tonight? You don't wanna hang out or something?"

"Today, Nope. I'm tired."

"Rest well then." His eyes were buried in his phone again.

"Dad, I have something important to discuss with you." My dad looks up to me.

"I thought as much. You were answering me like you're in some kind of competition or something. Come and sit with me, what is it?"

"It's ... Dad, I've been with this my whole life. I didn't wanna tell you because I didn't know how you'll take it." I rub my hands together.

"You don't have some kind of disease, Do you?"

"What? No! I'm totally normal and fine." I jerk backwards when he said that.

"Oh, goodness me. I thought I was gonna lose my son to STD like my friend lost his. I thank God that's not happening." He breathes out in relief.

"Seriously? Of all things to think about your son, it's STD?! Anyway, I just wanna say I'm truly sorry for not bringing this up earlier. It wasn't my intention to keep it all by myself for the rest of my life because some day, you and the rest of the family will need to know about me, my life, at least a greater part of their son."

"Okay?" My dad leans closer. Staring at me straight in the eye.

"I'm gay." I dropped it on him, avoiding his face.

"Is that all?"

Yeah. Wait, what?

"I mean, my instinct silently told me that my son is broken and I just realized that this is what broke my son. It's something I kind of expected. You know, I watch all of you my kids. I know each and every one of you from start to finish. I know those who need help, those who can get help on their own and those who are independent, decision makers," he paused to clean a few tears running down his cheeks. "My main point is, I'll always support my children no matter what. Whatever people say is none of our business. It shouldn't even bother us at all. You stay strong. Man up and do what you feel is best for you."

"Dad--" my eyes became watery as I pull him for a hug.

"I'm proud of you son, I really am. I'll inform your siblings about the news, they'll understand."

"Thanks. Thank you dad."

* * *

"Yo! How are you guys doing today?" I sit on the available seat in the bar. We all came to hang out after stressful school hours. A getaway weekend is the best to cool our overworked brains.

"I'm good."

"Same."

"Stressed out." All of them chorused.