Her Cinder Throne (Completed)

Chapter 76

Cole felt like throwing up. She clutched her stomach. "I did this," she whispered. "His father already used him, but due to me he now has no shred of himself left. He's just... his father's son now."

Tanwyn cut her a stern glance. "How can you be responsible for what Thijs has done? He already used his son to complete his own selfish ends. Whether you were here or not, he'd do the same thing. He only cares about ruling as much as he can."

"I dropped the dagger at Bastian's party," she said, her eyes dropping to the golden leaves on the forest floor. "Without it, Thijs wouldn't have been able to connect Bastian to those monsters."

"He'd have found another way."

Cole bit her tongue until she tasted blood. Her hands absently grabbed at the fabric around her waist. "I should have..." She paused a moment, closing her eyes as she gathered the courage to say the truth. "I should have killed him like you asked me to. Thijs is only ever going to use him as a weapon. It would have been a mercy to remove him from that. Give him the freedom he always wanted."

Tanwyn drew in a slow breath. "Maybe I was wrong. Maybe killing Bastian wasn't the way to destabilize Thijs. We'll never know. So don't blame yourself for things that have already passed." He shifted her mother in his arms, staring straight out at the thickening forest around them. The bright sunlight grew dimmer as the golden leaves pressed in heavier above them. Cole glanced up at him, at his aqua eyes so beautifully sharp and foreign, and the shaved hair on his head that took the coldness of his once majestic appearance and made it familiar to her. He looked exactly like the other miners she had once trusted and worked alongside of amongst the Sparkstones. He was covered in grime and injuries, with no hair or fine clothing to set him apart. He was just another face, another body. But Cole felt the urge to mark him as her own. A face she would want to find in every crowd.

She edged closer to him, matching his pace in silence as the forest slowly swallowed the light. She quietly placed her hand in his pocket, feeling the warmth of his skin just a thin piece of fabric away, and bumped her leg against his as they walked and walked and walked.

The silence was long, and Cole found herself content with it. There had been so much chaos and fear, that walking in the dark woods in silence felt like a balm. The breeze was cut off, but the sweet smell of leaves and grass filled her nose, washing memories of sweltering mines and clogged city streets out of her mind. She could barely remember her life with her stepmother and sister, and the animals she had tried to save from a life of misery. It was as if another girl had done those things, lived that life. Now all she could think of was her mother and the cool forest air around them.

Tanwyn's voice broke the silence what felt like an eternity of walking later. It was gentle and soft, barely more than a whisper. "It's 'no'," he said. "The answer to your question is 'no'. I'm doing it for you."

Cole stopped, her hand in his pocket pulling him to a halt as well. He didn't look at her or ask what she was doing. She merely stepped in front of him, leaning over her unconscious mother to press her lips gently against his. She didn't know what a kiss should feel like, or what she should have felt. She only felt the rough texture of his injured skin against hers and the comforting warmth of another body so close.

She pulled away before he had a chance to kiss her back or push her away, and returned to her place at his side. He started to walk again and she followed him, returning to the silence that filled the forest. She wasn't ashamed. She'd never be ashamed ever again. But she was exhausted, and she saw the kiss as something that would keep her going. A sign that she could trust someone still, even after all this.

A few minutes later, Tanwyn pointed out a small clearing up ahead. While it was still under the thick canopy of the forest, it offered a place to sit and rest with no bushes or thorns. Tanwyn laid Cole's mother out on the leaves while Cole checked her temperature and the pulse of her heartbeat through her chest.