Off Limits

48. Alright, You Win

I admitted as my voice cracked, "I apparently haven't either. I can't do shit without her popping in my fucking head every second."

"Why did you let her leave?"

I yelled by accident. "Are you serious? After you fucking went off on us, what did you expect? Sam, you must not understand that you're the ONLY women in my life. I damn near believe whatever the fuck you say and I agree, I'm a pig! I don't want to hurt her and I really didn't want to hurt you either."

Sam's pupils dilated. "I went off because it hurt me. I had no idea how you felt about her. I thought you were just fucking her."

I gripped my hands on both sides of my head while I breathed out. "I don't know if I should be happy, or scared. I was extremely mad with you, but I needed time. I'm not sure how my friendship will last because Riley blocked me, I think."

"And Sam, I'm so sorry for what I did to you. I didn't expect anything to happen and now—"

"Now what?"

I choked on my words, "I lost her. I thought I lost you, too."

"You could never lose me. I'm never going to leave you like they did."

Sam spoke again. "How do you know you lost her?"

I glanced down at the ground. "She told me if I walk away, she won't forgive me. I don't deserve her. For some reason, I don't think I'm capable of loving anyone I feel like."

Sam slowly parted her lips. "You love me. You love Dylan. And you grew to love Cameron, right? You're capable of love and don't even know it. Just because our parents can't love us, we have each other. I know you'll do anything for me and that's love. It hurts me so much that we're so broken because of them and they're probably fine every day. Don't let yourself suffer anymore. I allowed myself to fully open up to Cameron, and I've never been happier. It's time to forget about them and worry about you."

I carefully processed what she said and replied, "You're right. What do I do?"

Sam exclaimed, "Call her!"

I quickly picked up my phone and attempted to call her. It didn't even ring once before being sent to voicemail. I didn't want to feel desperate, so I didn't attempt to call again. Well, I guess I'm still pretty desperate because I texted her. I just wanted to see if she blocked me, and I guess she did.

I shook my head. "She doesn't want shit to do with us anymore."

Sam quickly composed herself. "Do you want her, Joey? Like, will you hurt her? Please look me dead in my eye and tell me the truth."

I brought my focus to her big brown eyes and said, "I'm not going to hurt her. I'm not. Yes, I do want her."

"Then, let's get your girl."

As she tried walking out of the door, I stopped her. "What about your friendship? You haven't talked to her at all?"

"Oh, I'm getting her back, too."

I arched my eyebrow. "How? We're blocked and Dylan doesn't even have her number. I'm sure she blocked Cameron, too."

"You'll see."

Before I could speak, she cut me off. "Get dressed and pack clothes. I'm going to talk to Dylan." She turned around and spoke again, "Oh, take a damn shower! You smell like Cheetos.

When I finished my hygiene routine, packed a bag, and headed downstairs, Dylan and Sam's eyes followed me. He looked at me deeply. "If I talk, will you go off?"

"I'm sorry for that. I've been in a messed up place."

Dylan cocked a smile. "I can see why. I'm shocked."

I playfully sighed. "Alright! I get it, I like someone. Can we please not keep mentioning it?"

Sam giggled. "Nope! That's your punishment."

I accepted it. "What's the plan?"

Sam sucked her teeth. "A flight to Ohio is a little under three hours. You bitches wanna go on a journey?" I smiled seeing Sam actually smiling again. Shit, I felt...something. I wasn't fully at Sam's level, not until I knew I could at least get her back. Well, not back. We were never together, but at least get her. I don't want anyone to have her, but me. I know that now and I admit that to myself.

I can't believe the thoughts I've been having. I can't believe that one girl can change everything. One person that I haven't known long, feels like I've known forever. Riley happened to consume all of me and I can't seem to forget her. I meant it when I said she's unnoticed. It's better now than later when another guy sees what I saw in her.

Our entire ride to the airport, Sam kept asking me a million times if I wasn't going to hurt her. In a way, I feel like she's trying to get me to prove it to myself. I had the shakes every second until we boarded the plane.