Nebraskan Boys Will Be the Death of Me

Chapter 15: Lowest Point

Jack's flight landed a couple hours ago. Cassie texted me to tell me he's with all the boys and that they're all going to Mack's house for the New Year's party.

I toss my phone to the end of my bed and pull the comforter back over my head. I just want to wallow in my sorrow. I haven't spoken to Sam since the party even though he's called and texted multiple times. He even tried coming over but Mom sent him away. She doesn't know what's going on, she just knows I'm upset and don't want to see him. I can't think of anything to say to him. It's not his fault, I'm the one that initiated it. But I can't face him. Knowing he had no regard for Jack, cared as little about their friendship as I did mine and Jack's relationship. I want to be mad but all I feel is guilt.

 There's a knock on my door. I peak my head out of the covers and see my mom in the crack of the door. I sit up and stretch. She gives me a weak smile and walks over, sitting down on the edge of my bed.

"Do you want to go with us to the Wilkinson's party? Sam isn't going to be there. Emily, Annie, and Ben are though, and you haven't seen Annie in forever. Lori said she wants to see you too," Mom says warmly, brushing my hair away from my face.

"I don't think I'm up for a party. I just wanna lay in bed," I yawn.

"You've been in bed for days. You need to change the sheets and take a shower. It's stuffy in here," Mom made a face.

"I took a shower yesterday," I protest.

"Well I figured you wouldn't go with us so I invited Ollie and Mara over. They'll be here in two hours," Mom pats my leg and stands up.

I look at the clock. It's 5 p.m. I do need to take a shower and get dressed. I've been in pajamas for two days. 

"If you change your mind, we're going to be there until one, so feel free to stop by whenever," she says, walking out the door.

I get up and stroll over to my bathroom. I turn on the shower to the hottest point and take off my clothes. Jack nor Sam has ever seen me completely naked. I look at myself in the mirror. My breasts are perky enough. They're a decent size. Sam always says a hand full or a little more is enough. I cup my left breast. It's a great deal more than a hand full, or maybe I just have small hands. I brush out my hair from it's former bun. I need a haircut, it's getting close to my waist. I turn sideways to look at my butt. I know both Sam and Jack are ass guys. That's all Sam ever talks about, if a girl has a nice butt or not. I like my butt. It's big, round, and plump. It's probably because of all the running I do in soccer that it keeps such great shape. Mom also convinces me into going to Lori's yoga classes occasionally and those are killer.

I step into the shower and take a moment. The water stings, it's so hot. My skin turns red from the heat. I finish the shower quickly and grab my robe. It's always freezing getting out of the shower in the winter. I brush through my hair and rub lotion into my face, arms, and legs. If it's going to be a night in with Mara and Ollie, I don't need to do anyting special. 

I walk back into my room and pull out leggings and my Westside soccer hoodie. I slip on the fuzziest socks I can find and French braid my hair. It's still soaking wet. I feel clean and cozy.

I trot downstairs and find my dad watching the Huskers game. I sit down beside him.

"Hey, kiddo. What's up?" he greets me with a big smile.

"Nothing much. Mom said Mara and Ollie are coming over," I say, looking at the score. 17-7. We're winning.

"Yeah," he sighs, "Why don't you wanna come to the party with us? You're gonna miss out."

"I don't know. I'm not really in the mood to be around a lot of people," I lie.

"Well, I'll make sure to bring home some peanut butter fudge," he flashes his evil smile. I laugh.