Crowstar's Mission {COMPLETE}

Chapter 40

As Crowsky finished his trout he noticed Ravenheart leaving the medicine cat den, crossing the camp towards him. Oh no. His stomach twisted in a knot. "Hi, Ravenheart." Crowsky stood up to face the medicine cat. "Is everything alright?"

Ravenheart slowly shook his head. "No, Riverlight is very close to death. She's always been weak, her body isn't strong enough to fight this illness." Crowsky dropped his head, Riverlight had never been a mother to him. She rejected him, treated him like crowfood and hated him, but she was still the cat that gave birth to him. "She knows this as well, and she wants to talk to you."

"Me?" Crowsky looked up in alarm. "Why me?"

"I don't know." Ravenheart shrugged. "You don't have to if you don't want to, no cat will blame you."

Crowsky stood up. "I'll go, I want to hear what she has to say." Crowsky followed Ravenheart across the camp and they stepped into the medicine cat den. The sharp stench of sickness filled his nose. It's bad in here. Crowsky looked at Riverlight, she was in her nest. Her black pelt was thin and dull, lined with white and gray. Her once beautiful blue eyes were glossed over and empty. She's always looked bad, but this is something else.

"You came." Riverlight breathed out, her eyes filling with surprise. Her voice was dry. "I figured you wouldn't."

"I wanted to hear what you wanted to say." Crowsky sat down, resting his tail across his paws. Riverlight weakly lifted her head, meeting Crowsky's gaze.

"There's a lot I need to say, a lot I should have said. As I face death, I've had time to think about the things I've done with my life, and I'm not proud of them. I never should have treated you the way that I did, I know these words mean nothing now, but I need to say them. When I die, I want to clear some of my regrets." Her eyes were haunted, it pained Crowsky's heart. He had never expected an apology from Riverlight, he figured he would live the rest of his life with her hating him. "I don't expect you to forgive me, or to even care about what I'm saying, but it needs to be said. I was so broken hearted over the death of your sister that I let it destroy me, I let it kill me long before my life was over.

"When you left, I knew it was because of me. I didn't know what to think. When you returned I was even more confused, but I realized that you didn't need me. No cat needed me, I was nothing but a burden on the Clan. I destroyed my own life, and blamed you for it. So I'm sorry, Crowsky, I'm sorry I made your life so hard, I'm sorry that I wasn't a good mother to you, I'm sorry that I didn't give you what you needed."

Crowsky could feel how genuine her words were, he wished that it didn't have to take Riverlight dying for her to see this, he wished they could have formed a relationship before they died. "I forgive you, Riverlight." It was four simple words, but Crowsky could see how much they meant to his mother.

"Y-you do?" Riverlight's blue eyes filled with light for the first time in seasons.

"Yes." Crowsky rested his muzzle on Riverlight's head. 'You'll always be my mother, I just wish I could've have known you before Ravenkit died. I wish I could've known the mother that my father fell in love with."

Riverlight's body shivered with a sob. "I wish that too." She buried her muzzle in Crowsky's chest. "Thank you, Crowsky."

Crowsky left Riverlight to rest after they shared a moment together, his heart ached as he left the medicine cat den. "What were you doing in there?" Frostfire questioned as he approached her. "Are you okay?"

"My mother apologized to me." Crowsky explained.

"Wow." Frostfire's eyes went wide. "StarClan must have frozen over."

"She's dying," Crowsky replied. "I never expected this, but I'm glad that she can spend her final days knowing that I do care about her, I never once stopped."

"It must have taken a lot for you to do that, she treated you so horribly."

Crowsky nodded. "I know, but it was the right thing to do." Crowsky and Frostfire retired to their nests for the night and when he woke up the next morning, Riverlight had passed. She died silently in her sleep. Crowsky's heart ached, it felt strange knowing he would never see his mother again but he also knew that Riverlight could finally be happy again, she would be reunited with Ravenkit at long last.

Crowsky sat beside his mother's still body during her vigl, pressing his muzzle to her pelt. Goodbye mother. Crowsky thought. I hope your path to StarClan was easy, say hello to Ivy and Blacksky for me.

The vigil ended and Crowsky watched as the elders carried away his mother's body, something about him felt different. He was glad that he forgave her, it wouldn't erase the abuse, but at least she died peacefully. Behind Crowsky he heard coughing, he looked over his shoulder and his blood turned to ice.

The coughing came from Silverpool.