bittersweet recollections of your adolescence // 2019 poetry collection

again

it turns out people only want to write poetry about love and pain too. 

i don't want to be ashamed of it

because i'm tired of feeling guilt

tired of feeling like my creativity

has to be linked to something higher than misery

or painful pining

be it for a person a place or a state of being.

all of this is just a prelude

for me saying "oh no! i've done it again!"

i've fallen for an emotionally distant child-man!

it's terrifying because it's only happened once before

and i'm scared out of my mind because my heart is still sore

from the last painful rejection

from the last one year

and i don't know if i can do it again

because of all the things i still feel.

i don't want to write poems about all the things i love

because then it seems like i love too much

so it means too little

i wish i could write how i feel without feeling like

i'm begging for approval.