bittersweet recollections of your adolescence // 2019 poetry collection

ily

i think that i am done loving you.

in any case, i am done writing about you--

or maybe it is too soon to tell.

and i hope you know i mean the first sentence loosely

and the second exactly

because i will always love you

but you will no longer be at the forefront of every thought

a wrecking ball to my sanity

the catalyst of every breaking point.

i will always love you

but it won't stop me from loving someone else

just as much

and hopefully more.

i am done writing about you

obsessing over your dark green eyes

and small mannerisms that were distinctly yours

i'll restrain from describing them

because my mind is the safest place to store them

and i'm a monster made of jealousy. 

this is the last thing i'll write to profess love over you,

you boy king,

you hundred-foot skyscraper with a shoddy foundation

you bugatti chiron with no breaks.

you'll never stop for anyone

you couldn't even if you wanted to.

and maybe i'm the same way just for you.

but this is me trying

to make this the last thing i write about you.

i love you,

but that will never be enough

for either of us.

i love you,

you boy king,

you hundred-foot skyscraper with a shoddy foundation

you bugatti chiron with no breaks.

good bye.