i'm scared he'll end up just like me
this little guy with a head full of daydreams
he's sadder than i was
when i was nine.
i'd like to say he's stronger than me
and that he'll be fine
but i'm afraid
that i would be lying.
he lashes out with anger and he shouts all the time.
i try to speak gently and comfort him
but what will that do
when i'm the only one trying.
it's not easy to be patient with someone
who doesn't like saying sorry
who play fights like they've got something to prove
who has pride made out of porcelain glass.
it's not easy to be patient with someone
unless you can find yourselves in them.
i'm scared he'll end up just like me.
this little kid who looks up to me.
it's hard to ever feel half deserving
of the way he hugs me and kisses my cheeks
at the end of a long day
where, i admit,
we were fighting.
i know what it's like to have older siblings
who everybody says are perfect
so everyone ignores his accomplishments.
i know what it's like to have a mother
who doesn't hear you until you scream
and then chastises you angrily
for daring to not be kind and gentle with her
when that's the last thing
she is with him and me.
listen, kid,
i hope you end up better than me.
i don't mean you need good grades
or to say things kindly.
i mean i hope you realize young
that you are more than your mom
you are more than your dad
you are more than your siblings.
you are m o r e
than me.
i love you
but that doesn't mean
you're forcefully attached to what it means to be me.
listen, kid,
end up better than me.
CITEȘTI
bittersweet recollections of your adolescence // 2019 poetry collection
Poezie❝ consider this: the world does not need saving- you do. ❞
