Sanders Sides Christmas

Chapter 3

Patton:

"You okay, kiddo?" I ask on the way back.

Virgil looks up, "Yeah," he says, but I can hear the way his voice shakes.

"You sure? It's okay to not be okay, Virgil," I remind him.

"I'm fine. I just..."

I wait for him to continue, when he doesn't I decide to, "Miss them?"

His head shoots up fast, he looks at me and then in the direction of the Light side of the Mindscape, "I didn't say that," he says defensively, "I never said that."

"Virgil," I stop walking, "It's okay to miss them," I look him in the eye.

"But they're-"

"Your family, Virgil," I interrupt, "And Roman, Logan, and I are too. It's okay to miss your family. It's okay to want to spend time with your family. All of your family."

He looks away, "I just...don't want you guys to think that I want to go back to the way things were."

I look at him confused.

"It's just," he continues, "I miss them, yeah, of course I miss them. But, I don't miss being one of them. I don't want to ditch you guys and go back to being a bad guy. I don't want that!" he practically yells, his voice strained.

     "We don't think that, Virgil," he looks up at me, "Logan and I have been worried about you, about how you never go see them. We can tell you miss them, we see it in your eyes when they're mentioned."

He doesn't say anything, "Roman thinks that. He thinks that they're bad, that I'm bad if I want to be with them. He'll hate me if he finds out I miss them!"

"Oh, kiddo, that's not—Roman's not—he just doesn't understand. But...if you want to go see them, you should. He'll get over it," I laugh, "Remember how upset he was when we let you stay? And he got over that. Look at what great friends you two are now. He'll get over this too, I promise."

    "I guess you're right, I just don't want to disappoint him."

    I shake my head, "You need to stop focusing on how Roman would feel about it, and start thinking about how you feel about it. Your feelings on this matter more than Roman's it's not really any of his concern."

     He nods, we continue walking in silence. I hope he realizes that I'm right, I hate seeing him so upset, and seeing Deceit and Remus made him so happy.

Roman:
     I pace back and forth in my room, awaiting on Patton and Virgil's return.

     I'm attempting to compose an apology, but so far I haven't found the correct words.

     My pacing comes to an end when I hear Patton downstairs, "—they're gonna be here the day after tomorrow! So we better start getting everything ready."

Virgil speaks then, "I'm kinda exhausted, Popstar, is it cool if I take a nap? I'll help you decorate later, promise."

"Yeah, Of course. Sweet dreams, Virge!"

I hear footsteps and then I see him hurrying up the stairs,

"Hey, Virg—" he doesn't stop when he passes me, I hear his door shut, "—il."

I stop smiling, did he not hear me?

Perhaps he's just tired, but he was rather fast on his way up. Those movements did seem rather energetic.

I decide to investigate, I head to his room.

I give a quick knock, "Virgil?"

No answer. I try again, "Virgil?"

I open the door a crack expecting a sleeping Virgil. Instead I am met with a sight that twists the knife of guilt in my chest! Virgil is sitting on his floor, tears falling down his cheeks, headphones on, a purple sweater clutched in his hands.

I'm about to ask him what's wrong when he speaks, "I'm sorry," he whispers. "I'm so so sorry." He pulls the sweater closer to his chest.

I assume the sweater came from the Dark Sides, I had never seen it before. So that made sense. (And Logan says I have no reasoning skills!) I guess that means Logan was right, Virgil really does miss them.

I close the door, if he wanted me there he would've asked, right?

     I feel horrible, I debate on telling Patton about Virgil. Maybe he could help him, since I...can't.

I head back downstairs, Patton's talking to Logan in a quiet voice.

"—you should have seen him, Lo! He was so happy with them! But when we left, everything from before was back. He's afraid we'll kick him out if he spends time with them. He's afraid Roman will hate him, and I couldn't convince him otherwise!"

I clear my throat, Patton jumps, "Oh, hey, Ro," he says a little too quickly.

"Hey, Pat. Uhm...I think Virgil might need you, he's kind of upset."

"Why do you say that?" Patton asks concerned.

"Well, he's kinda...crying."

"What?!?" He rushes off to go check on Virgil.

I watch him go, then I turn to see Logan staring at me.

"How did you know Virgil was crying?" He asks in a calm voice.

"I went to go tell him something, and when I opened the door he was just...sitting there crying."

"What did you say to him?"

"I didn't say anything! He was just upset!"

"After, you found him crying, Roman. What did you say?" He says, exasperated.

"Nothing," I reply, "I just came and got Patton."

"Why didn't you comfort him yourself?" Logan inquires.

"Because I don't know how! I'd probably just make it worse! And he trusts Patton, he probably wouldn't even tell me what was wrong!"

     Logan studies me for a moment, "Hm...your answer is satisfactory."

     "What do you mean by that?" I ask.

     "It is nothing of immediate importance. Come with me, we should go get the decorations while we wait for Patton to come back."

     He heads off, expecting me to follow. I hurry after him, what else am I gonna do?