Off Limits

12. Vulnerable

I felt the unwanted tears forming in the corners of my eyes. When I clicked the most recent picture again, she confirmed the relationship with the caption:

I knew he couldn't stay away. Back like we never broke up!

I froze, staring down at my screen. My eyes started watering, fogging my vision. I didn't want to cry. I didn't want to let it get to me, but it did. An uncontrollable stream of tears shot from my eyes and rolled down my cheeks. What bothered me the most was that he was probably cheating on me, but didn't have the balls to man up and tell me. I could've done so much with that time, but I had put him first like a dumbass.

My heart broke all over again.

I tortured myself and continued to spy on them through social media. My tears wouldn't give me a break, and my heart pounded viciously against my chest. I couldn't catch my breath and it had felt almost suffocating. I didn't know why I kept looking. Part of me believed it had to have been a sick joke, but the other half knew it was real.

I cupped my face as I broke down into my hands. I began to hyperventilate and felt my heart shatter into one million pieces. I couldn't catch my breath because of the sobs that got stuck in my throat. I have so much anger and hurt inside of me, but I didn't know what to do with it.

"Riley?" Joey's husky voice startled me. I listened to the door creak open, hoping he hadn't come into my room. But I knew Joey, he had.

I tried producing the words to tell him to leave, but they couldn't come out. My breath hitched as a sob caught in my throat again.

"Come here," he beckoned.

I didn't remove my hands, but I felt him wrap his strong arms around me. I pulled my hands away from me and buried my face into the center of his chest. Before I knew it, I had my arms wrapped around his body. His hands ran down my back to comfort me before he tangled them in my hair. I let every ounce of pain in my body flow through my tears as I listened to Joey's steady heartbeat.

He kept quiet while tracing his fingers over my back. I probably shouldn't be close to him like this, but I didn't mind his presence. I loved the comforting feeling of someone else simply being there.

"Riley, look at me?" His voice cracked. It was low and more concerning than usual. I shook my head in his chest, not wanting to lift my face and show him how pathetic I am.

I probably ignored all of the signs because I was blinded by love. I tried hanging on as long as I could because I hate giving people my all, and they run out on me.

"Please?" His voice vibrated through his chest.

I listened and slowly removed myself from his chest. At first, I didn't look him in the eye, but I continued to cry when I did.

"You may not want to speak, but I'm offering to listen." He muttered, stroking through my hair.

He raised his thumb to wipe off the fallen tears. I looked deeply into his eyes as I wailed. It took a few seconds to calm myself down without breaking eye contact. I tried speaking, "My feelings are . . ." I sniffed and restarted my sentence. "My feelings are really hurt."

"Riley, talk to me. Do you want me to call Sam?" He asked.

I shook my head. I would love nothing more than for her to enjoy time with her boyfriend. After all, we've been doing everything as a group.

I took a deep breath. "Remember when I told you I was supposed to be in Europe?"

His lips parted. "Yeah."

Warm tears fell down my cheeks. "My boyfriend—ex-boyfriend—had planned a trip for us to go to Europe after we graduated. I packed, and I couldn't wait to go and—" I took a breather. "He broke up with me right after we graduated. He said he didn't want anything serious, but we'd been together for two years. Two fucking years." I stopped to sigh and wipe my tears.

Joey didn't stop looking at me the entire time I spoke. His eyes had so much sorrow in them, listening to my pitiful story.

I continued. "I thought my ex just needed space, and he left me for her after he told me he didn't care about her anymore." My voice became high-pitched. I fiddled with my fingers, chewing down on the insides of my cheek to prevent my lip from quivering.

He asked, "For who?"

"His ex-girlfriend. I was nothing but a good girlfriend to him. I do everything to please someone else, but they always end up leaving me. Everyone leaves me, and I don't know why. Is it me? He lied directly to my face."

"Everyone isn't leaving you, Riley. You have Sam, Cameron—"

I cut him off. "My dad left me, Joey. I wasn't good enough for him either." I admitted, not wanting to say anything about that.

That was all I needed to say before Joey pulled me into another tight hug. I tried my hardest to stop crying in front of him, but I couldn't. Everything I've held in over the past few days, or years, came out.

"I don't see how anyone could leave you," he said in a low voice. "If I were him . . . I'd never leave."

I slowly removed myself again and met Joey's eyes. No one has ever said that to me before, and I physically felt my heart beating at an unhealthy pace.

"Don't fucking cry for an asshole like him." He said, tapping my chin without breaking contact.

I couldn't control anything I felt or did. Not thinking, I quickly leaned towards Joey and pressed my lips on his. I pulled away almost immediately, realizing I shouldn't have done that. I couldn't tell what ran through Joey's head by the shocked expression on his face.

I nervously met his eyes as he forcefully grabbed my neck and pulled my lips back to his. A single tear rolled down my cheek as he kissed me. I didn't understand how much I craved this moment until it actually happened.

I pushed myself up and straddled my legs on top of him as he shifted back on the bed. I hungrily took control and worked my lips against his. He tasted like minty toothpaste as he responded eagerly, roaming his hands down my body. It was almost like a drug, and it was intoxicating being so close to him. A moan escaped from my lips as they parted for the entrance of his tongue.

I gasped as Joey picked us both up, as if we were weightless, and placed me softly on my back without breaking the kiss. Wanting more of him, my hands found their way to the top of the jacket he wore. I tried sliding his sleeves down both arms as Joey groaned. He placed a soft peck on my lips before pulling away from me.

He rose from over the top of me and glanced down at me on the bed. I eyed his swollen lips and got up to stand near him, continuing to undress him, but he stopped me.

"Riley!" He raised his voice in a demanding tone.

I looked up to him. "Is it me?"

"You don't want this. You're just vulnerable. We should stop." He added.

But, I didn't want to.

"I thought you wanted this?" I moaned.

He shook his head. "Not like this."

I slowly sat on the bed after he rejected me. I didn't understand after he'd told me I'm beautiful and after he'd hinted at sex over a million times since we'd met.

"Can you please leave?" I spoke calmly and embarrassed.

His eyebrows rose with confusion. "What? I—"

"Joey, please. I want to be alone."