Crowstar's Mission {COMPLETE}

Chapter 36

"Yeah they do." Crowsky stepped in beside Frostfire. "Look, I'm sorry about making you talk about Shadowpelt."

"It's okay." Frostfire sighed. "It just hurts to think about it, we were pretty good friends for the time, he just let his feelings ruin it. I get that he wanted to be mates, but sometimes that doesn't always work out. He'll find the right cat someday. We all do."

"Yeah." Crowsky's eyes drifted up towards the sky, thinking about Ivy. I had found mine. He looked down at Frostfire, the distant look in her green eyes reminded Crowsky of Ivy for a moment. Whereas Ivy's eyes were curious, Frostfire's were steady and relaxed. They're so different. Ivy was curious and looked at the world with a sense of wonder, but Frostfire was certain, she was stable and she reminded Crowsky of home.

In the time he had been back, a lot of his time had been spent with Frostfire, he had always felt so comfortable around her, and that hadn't changed. "Everything okay?" Crowsky's pelt burned as he realized he had been staring at her.

"Y-yeah, sorry." He cleared his throat. "Let's go back to camp." Frostfire seemed concerned, but didn't push him. They began their walk back to camp in silence. What's wrong with me? Crowsky felt guilt creeping into his chest. I love Ivy. Ivy was my mate, even if it was for a short time, we belonged to each other. I shouldn't be thinking about Frostfire this way, right?

Crowsky looked up at the sky once again. What would Ivy think, would she be mad at him? Would she want him to move on? Crowsky felt like his heart was going to tear in two. Why is this happening all of the sudden?

"You seem off." Frostfire pointed out. "You sure you're alright?"

"Yeah." Crowsky assured her. "Just got a lot on my mind."

"I'm here to talk, you know that right?"

"Yeah, I do."

The two of them finally reached camp and Frostfire broke off to go talk to Icestorm, Crowsky was concerned that he had upset her. There was a storm brewing in his head, he needed someone to talk to, and it couldn't be Frostfire.

Crowsky spotted Silverpool sharing prey with Driftwater, he quickly padded up to her. "Hey," He greeted awkwardly, hating to interrupt them. "Can I talk to you for a moment, Silverpool?"

"Sure." Silverpool purred and touched her muzzle to Driftwater's. "I'll see you in a bit." Driftwater agreed and Silverpool stood up, looking at Crowsky. "Where did you want to go?"

"Let's just walk." Crowsky suggested and the two of them headed out of camp and onto the moor, heading in the direction of the Spirit Woods.

"What's on your mind?"

"A lot." Crowsky sighed.

"Well we've got plenty of time, tell me about it."

Crowsky wondered where to start. "When I was out there, I got injured." He lifted his paw and showed Silverpool the white scar that ran across his paw pad. "It got infected and I thought the worst until a cat named Flint found me, he told me he lived with a group of loners and took me to them where I was treated by a cat named Ivy." Silverpool nodded slowly, listening intently. Crowsky continued to tell the entire story of living with the loners, including Ivy's death and his feelings for her.

"I'm so sorry you had to experience that, Crowsky." Silverpool mewed sadly. "Though I think I know why you took me out here, it wasn't just to tell me that story." Crowsky stared at the moor ahead of him without responding.

"You have feelings for Frostfire, and your previous relationship with Ivy is making you feel guilty."

"Yeah." Crowsky's voice was dry, he wasn't surprised that Silverpool had figured it out so easily. "I don't know if I feel the same way about Frostfire that I did about Ivy, but I do care about her, I just don't know what to do."

"I'm assuming you know, but your father and I were mates for a short time after he had left Riverlight. We hadn't come public with it quite yet, but I loved him. I had always cared for your father, and when I became your mentor we just got so close." Silverpool's eyes flashed loved and sadness. "When he died and you left, I wasn't sure what would happen, then Driftwater came along. When I started falling for him, I felt guilty. I thought that Blacksky would hate me, that you would hate me."

"I could never hate you, Silverpool." Crowsky mewed. "I'm glad that you found happiness."

"And Ivy will feel the same way. She's in StarClan waiting for you, but that doesn't mean you can't have another mate if that's what you want. She'll want you to be happy, just as I and Blacksky do."

"I still don't even know what I want, or what she wants."

"When you left, a lot of cats thought you were dead or never coming back. Myself and Frostfire always believed that you would. She would come to me when she was missing you, and we would talk about you and it would make her feel better. When she turned down Shadowpelt, she came to me for advice. She was so conflicted, she told me that the only cat she could picture being her mate, was you." Crowsky's pelt burned. "She thought she would be just hurting herself if she waited for you to come back, but you did come back and now she's confused as you are. I believe that the best way you'll get your head sorted out is if you talk to her about your feelings."

Crowsky knew she was right, he just had to find the courage to speak to her, and the words along with it. Silverpool and Crowsky returned to camp, and now it was time to talk to Frostfire. She was sitting with Icestorm as she usually did. Silverpool nudged him forward, and Crowsky's heart began to race.

He padded up to Frostfire and Icestorm and cleared his throat. "Hey, Frostfire--" He stammered. "Will you come with me? I want to talk to you about something." Icestorm's eyes flickered with amusement. She probably knows what this is.

"Sure." Frostfire replied sheepishly and the two of them returned to the swimming pond. "What do you need?"

"I just talked to Silverpool and there's something I want to talk to you about."

"Is this about earlier? I'm sorry I brought up Shadowpelt I just--"

"Frostfire," Crowsky quieted her down. "It's okay. I'm glad you did because it got me thinking, about you and me. Silverpool told me about the things you two would talk about when I was gone."

Frostfire dropped her head. "Look," Her voice was low. "I always liked you, and I hoped every day that you would come home, and those feelings never went away but then you came back but you fell in love with someone else and it's okay, it's okay, I'm not going to let it ruin our friendship like Shadowpelt did."

"I did fall in love with someone else." Crowsky sighed. "But Ivy is gone, she's dead. I miss her, and I will always love her but that doesn't mean there's no more room in my heart for others. I don't know if I want kits or anything like that, but I don't think there's anything wrong with having someone close by my side, someone like you."

Frostfire stared at him, her eyes flooding with emotion. "You-you want me to be your mate?"

Crowsky nodded. "Since I've got back, I've always been drawn to you. You make me feel like I'm home."

Frostfire stepped forward, inching closer to Crowsky. "That's all I want, Crowsky. I just want to be by your side."

Crowsky leaned in slowly until his muzzle touched Frostfire's, he breathed in her sweet scent and closed his eyes. For the first time since Ivy's death, Crowsky felt complete. He still loved Ivy, but now he wanted to focus his heart on Frostfire.