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  • Dedicated to Ariesa Domingo
                                    

January 7 2013

[Two years before- Day 429]

My nightmare finally happened.

He finally hit me.

I was accepted as a cashier at Starbucks, since Alex and I need some money for our apartment and the employees there warmly welcomes me with open arms. One of them was Michael, a gay friend and he'd been one of my closest friends since middle school and he was so happy that I will be working with him from now on so he hugged tightly and kiss me on the cheeks. Of course I didn't mind him kissing me because like I said he's totally gay but anyway, Alex was just entering the café when he saw Michael planting a friendly kiss on me. Alex totally lost it and walked away.

That was my only problem with him. He easily gets jealous even if I always tell him that I will never cheat on him.

So now I am on the floor weeping.

I didn't know how it happened.

At first he was just shouting at me and calling me a whore and throwing things at my direction when suddenly he hit me.

Alex hit me on the face.

I was so shocked to move or even react. It happened too fast. It happened too soon.

He was just throwing our things around when his knuckles made contact with my face.

The horrifying image just couldn't stop replaying in my head. I couldn't forget the cracking sound when his fist touched my cheek.

I know Alex cannot do that to me. He promised me that he will not hurt me. He told me that he only hurts himself and some random things when he gets angry but never a person. He will never hurt a person... especially not me.

Because he told me that he loves me.

But it really happened.

He finally hit me.

He was just shocked like I am. He put his arms around me and carried me back to our little bed. He was so careful when he place me on his lap, like I was some kind of fragile glass that he didn't want to break.

He didn't know that I was already broken.

"I am so sorry Raven. I-I don't know what I did. I am sorry!" he sobbed and feverishly stroked my black hair.

I know he didn't mean it. I know he didn't want to hurt me. He just got blinded by his anger...by his jealousy. It blinded him so much that he didn't know earlier what he was doing.

Maybe that's it.

Maybe the problems were his anger and insecurities and not me.

We stayed like that until we both fell asleep. I fell asleep with my face buried on his chest and him whispering to me that he loves me over and over again.

We both slept crying.

We both slept with hurt and suffering overflowing in our chest.

We couldn't deny it anymore.

Alex finally hits me.

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