Behind Boleyn

XXI - The Letter

The candlelight flicked beside her bed as her eyes reread the words from King Henry. He was so eloquent... if only he weren't the cause of her inescapable pain. Perhaps Millie was right. Maybe it was time to let go of her misery. One could watch the years go by without even noticing if one was not careful. As it were, the seasons were starting to repeat themselves as she watched the world through her bedroom window. Anne's life was passing her by.

A whisper at her window distracted her thoughts. Her rigid body held the covers tightly to her as if they could somehow protect her.

"Anne?" Henry Percy's whisper came again, full of despair.

Her muscles relaxed as she recognized the voice behind the curtain. Taking the candlestick as much for its light and as for a weapon, she hesitantly approached the curtain. Should she pull it aside? Did she even want to see his face with its agonized eyes? There could be no resolution.

"Were you not married, but last month?" Anne sat in a nearby chair, basked in the candle's glow, whispering fervently to the shadow behind her curtain.

"It could not be helped." This, a lament, full of sorrow.

"You are here now. Why not before? We could have run away and lived our lives in simple anonymity."

"If only it were so easy, Anne. I could not bear to live as paupers. And that is what we'd be. Penniless. Starving. Why, how would we feed our children?"

"Well, it isn't a concern now, I suppose. I will never have your children." A sob escaped Anne's chest. "She will have them instead."

There was silence for several minutes.

"I wanted to see you. We never had a proper good-bye."

She stared hard at the blasted curtain, confusion and frustration burning bright in her eyes. Why did he come now? Just as she was about to move on... ahhh, but perhaps this was what she needed.

"Good-bye, Henry," she said firmly, closing her heart with confident permanence.

He pulled the curtain aside and leaped into the room. Kneeling in front of her, he took her hand and boldly kissed it. "I wanted to know that you are okay."

Looking at him without a flinch, she snarled, "I'm not okay, Henry. I'll never be okay." The hiss in her voice belied the unshed tears in her eyes."Don't come back. What is done is done." With a glare, she pulled her hand out of his grasp and pushed him away.

He stared at her with shock. "But Anne, I thought you loved me."

Hysterical laughter burst from her lips. "Is that so? And I thought you loved me, Henry. Yet here we are. You... a married man... and not to me." She paused. "What did you come here for? Honestly."

"My wife hates me. I..." He paused as he searched her eyes. There was a certain glimmer that made Anne wonder what he could be thinking.

"You what?"

"I was hoping..."

Realization hit her like a punch to the stomach. "You wanted to what? Make me your mistress? Oh, Henry." She stopped herself, taking a deep breath as she contemplated her next move. He would be a good ally in the future. The Duke of Northumberland. Thus, she chose her words carefully as she looked into his hopeful face. "I will always love you, Henry. But I cannot be your mistress. You have made your choice... and it broke both of our hearts." She took his hand back and squeezed it with finality and lead him back to the window.

"Anne?" A whisper expressing acceptance and sadness.

She turned deaf ears to his pleading, looking at him firmly. "Go, Henry. Go home to your wife."

"But..."

"One more word, Henry, and I will wake the house. Go. Away."

With one final look he climbed down the tree and she watched because she really did still love him. But it was time for her to close her heart to him. She went to her bed, got under the covers and considered Millie's words from earlier in the evening. She took the latest letter from the king and held it to her chest.

Suddenly, Anne got out of her bed and went to her writing desk. With a grin, she pulled out some paper, her feathered pen, and her pot of ink. She addressed the missive to her king.

Sire,

It belongs only to the august mind of a great King to whom Nature has given a heart full of generosity towards the sex, to repay by favors so extraordinary an artless and short conversation with a girl. Inexhaustible as is the treasury of Your Majesties bounties, I pray you to consider that it cannot be sufficient to your generosity; for if you recompense so slight a conversation by gifts so great, what will you be able to do for those who are already to consecrate their entire obedience to your desires? How great soever may be the bounties I have received, the joy that I feel in being loved by a King whom I adore, and to whom I would with pleasure make a sacrifice of my heart, if fortune had rendered it worthy of being offered to him, will ever be infinitely greater.

The warrant of maid of honour to the Queen induces me to think that Your Majesty has some regard for me, since it gives me the means of seeing you oftener, and of assuring you by my own lips (which I shall do on the first opportunity) that I am, Your Majesty's very obliged and very obedient servant.

Without any reserve,

Anne Boleyn

She would be the next Queen of England.  

~~

A/N The letter included was written by Anne Boleyn - not me ;)

Source: theanneboleynfiles.com/resources/anne-boleyn-words/anne-boleyn-letters

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