✔️| The Gift of a Curse {1}

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

MY MATE...

MY MATE...

MY MATE...

"What... what are you... you... you just sai..." I cannot form a coherent sentence.
Accalia?
Yes I am here Shadow. She is shocked as much as I am if not more.
What is he... what is he talking about?
I do not know. And with that she blocks me, she seems to be shaken. I try to reach her but I get distracted with Amoux caressing my check with his free hand. I immediately shake my head vigorously to try and shake away his hand.
"You just called me your mate." I avoid looking into his eyes; I do not think I can handle the look they will bear.
"You are my mate." He growls in content as his hand once again finds its way to my cheek. When his finger traces my lip I bite him causing him to growl in anger.
"I am not your mate." I say confidently even though my heart is about to give out from how fast it beats.
"Yes you are." He shakes away his anger and buries his face in hair. I try to pull him away but that backfires when suddenly he is in between my legs, he grunts at the position.
"Get off of me." Every limp in my body fights off his touch. He pulls his face away enough to face me. All I see is honesty and longing, but he is making it hard to believe him and feel sorry for him.
"You are not my mate, if you were, my wolf would have sensed it." I feel Accalia's eagerness to hear an explanation, she believes him.
"You do not have to rub it in my face, I know that." Amoux growls at me.
"I do not understand." I whimper. Amoux gives a soft smile and lets out a whimper himself. He loosens his grip on me, but he does not pull away from me.
"That is our curse." He lets out another whimper, and a tear slips down his eyes.
"I do not..." I look him in the eye as he gives me a sad smile.
"We did not know what the curse the Amazonians' witch put on us was until we saw you in our parents' house with a bleeding shoulder. We knew you were our luna, but you just looked at us like you did not recognize us as your mate. It did not take us long to realize that the curse is for our mate to not feel the mating bond." Accalia' words ring in my head.

I feel like you are trying to ignore something. Something that will forever change our lives, I just do not know what it is.

Now I know what it is, and I realize that deep down I had my own suspicion. There is a long list of times when his actions had me come up with various explanations, and each time us being mates was one of them, and each time I overlooked that one explanation, it has been right in front of me this entire time.
I become so overwhelmed that I push him away from me with a strength that I did not know I have. I walk back and forth as I try to control my breathing. I feel the panic attack that has been threatening to happen all day starting to occur. From the side of my eyes, I see Amoux Watching my every move as I digest what has just happened.
At one point, my knees give out and they collide with the fluffy carpet on the ground. I can feel the oxygen refusing to enter my lungs.
"Shadow!" I feel two strong yet gentle hands rest on my cheeks. My eyes become blurry from the tears. I reach out for him because I am scared; I feel like life is being sucked out of my body.
"You are okay." Amoux tries to comfort me but he fails.
"I cannot... I cannot breathe." I say between gasps. Amoux's hands tighten a little on my cheeks as he kisses my tears away.
"Just calm down, you are okay. I just need you to calm down and focus on your breathing." I can feel his breath against my face. It is so warm.
I close my eyes and try to do as he says. I think about Clay in an attempt to calm myself down. It backfires when I recall what happened earlier today. My heart skips a beat.
"No, no, calm down. You were doing well. Just think about your sister, how you grew up together all the times you had a fight over a doll, or any good memory you have from being a kid." It takes a few minutes but eventually my breathing goes back to normal and my tears completely dry.
"That is good." I open my eyes to find glassy blue ones staring directly at me. They hold so many emotions that I almost have another panic attack.
"Alec?" My voice is a whisper.
"Yeah, it is me. I am so sorry Shadow, I did not mean..."
"You... you are..." I look down at my lap suddenly finding it weird to look at him.
"Shadow, please let me explain." Alec begs and holds my hands in his.
"I just need some time to process." I do not think I can hear him talk about how we are mates and how I was so blind to see it.
"Of course, I understand." I can see a tear slip down his eye, he tries to hide it, but I see it.
"Alec?"
"It is fine shadow, I understand. No woman would want to spend her life with a murderer like myself." He violently wipes his tear away. His words are like a knife to my heart, I do not know why they affect me so much when I cannot feel the bond between us.
"Alec..." I call him as he attempts to get up.
"Shadow I told you it is fine. You do not have to..." I cut him off by jumping into his lap and hugging him as tightly as I can. The alpha immediately wraps his arms around my waist.
I know that this is something that prevents me from leaving this pack, and I know that I have to deal with this, but now is not the right time.
"Alec, listen to me." I pull away from him enough to be able to see him. He, however, does not let me get off his lap.
"I cannot lie and say that I feel the bond or that I love you. What I can say is I am willing to learn more about this; all of it, I am willing to get to know you even though I cannot promise that I can give you what you want." Reluctance clouds his eyes even though it is clear that he wants me to give him a chance. The notorious alpha is not hard to read.
"Why?" Alec's voice breaks.
"Well, I guess I have known that there was something there I was just trying to pretend it is not there because... Well the reason is too long to say out loud." I chuckle as I wipe my face before I continue.
"I have only been here for two days. But in this short amount of time, I have seen that the alphas are wrong about you. I know that you have made mistakes in the past, but I am not shallow; I do not judge a person based on one action. I know that you love your pack deeply, you love your friends, and you love your home. You have the things the other alphas lack; you respect others, you do not use your title to get what you want, and you are not afraid to show your feelings. You..." I get cut off with his lips covering mine.