Chapter One

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It's a cold winter's day and I am internally panicking, how can I hide Andre from Oliver? We could leave and go on Christmas vacation, just the two of us. Oliver's mom doesn't even know about Andre being Oliver's. We have seen her at church a few times, she always gives him candy. Other than that Dorothy is kind of cold towards me. She probably thinks the worst things about me.

"Andre, come on you are going to make me late for work." He walks down the stairs taking big steps compared to how little he is.

"Mommy I left cookies for Santa." I pick him up and kiss his cookie-crumbed chubby cheeks.

"It's still November, Santa doesn't come for another month by the time he gets them, they will be bad. It looks like you ate most of them." He pouts his lips making the same shape his fathers used to do when he was around.

"I just wanted to give Sanna cookies, he needs strength." Andre struggles with his t's and I love his little voice so much. Sometimes I wish it would never change.

"He gets enough at home from Mrs. Claus, but I am sure he will enjoy it. Now go and grab your coat." I say setting him down on the living room carpet. He rushes off to grab his coat, waddling his way to the coat closet.

I sit down for a moment my mind wanders off to what it would be like if his father was around. Andre is starting to put two and two together about not having a father around. What am I going to tell him? Maybe I'll just say he went away. What if he asks where? Then, I'll just offer some candy or something because I wouldn't want any further questions.

"Mommy!" He shouts from the coat closet. I run to him, dodging a few toy cars along the way. I have to take them to a charity shop or something because they just take up too much space.

I find him crying, in the closet.

"No coa- mommy no coa-," he cries into my chest. I hold him and coo him wiping away his tears with the sleeve of my shirt.

"It's mommy's fault she put it in the dryer last night. Come on let's go and get it together. Then we can go and get some hot chocolate." He latches on to my neck still sniffling into my ear. After three years of him crying, it still breaks my heart every time.

"Mommy, I love you." He says as we start walking down the basement stairs.

"I love you more peanut." He giggles causing me to smile. Grabbing a tissue out of my pocket for his nose.

We get his coat and we put it on him. Moments like this make me thankful for his dad because, without him, I wouldn't have Andre.

"Zip me! Zip me!" He says excitedly lifting his arms ready to be in my arms again. He is a total mommy's boy. His puffy brown coat that matches his eyes looks too cute on him.

I lift him again grab my keys and put his hoodie on him. He smiles up at me and I kiss his nose. As soon as he sees the car he starts doing his impression of my car.

"Beep, beep, vroom."

As long as a car works, I don't care what kind it is. Well, this car is a mom minivan. This means if his dad was around, he would have picked on me because I swore up and down that I would never purchase one. But this van doesn't eat up gas. Which as a single mother is a blessing.

I put him in the car seat and gave him his tablet. Which is like baby crack. He loves that thing so much. He is also obsessed with a song called Baby Shark which on its own makes me want to bash my head against the wall. But since he loves it, I love it, or at least I fake love it.

As soon as I shut the door the music begins and his fit of giggles starts. His uncle hates it and Andre finds it so funny. We are picking him up for work. I'm his teaching assistant at the moment, I specialize in kids with disabilities. But he can't teach English to save his life. It sucks the school didn't have enough room for him in the math department.

They live right down the street so I pull up into their large driveway. I hear the music stop and Andre giggles.

I set up the blue tooth and Andre waves at John. John runs to the car and that is when the music starts blasting.

"Turn that wretched music off." He says in a thick Irish accent causing Andre to laugh at him.

"Johnny you're a goof," I say making a silly face at him. He smiles back at me with a big toothy grin and I laugh.

He is thankful for me because I set him up with Kayla his fiancee who is my best friend. Originally he asked me out, but I had just given birth to Andre. So I was already stressed out with a baby adding a guy from work to the mix would be catastrophic.

Then one day, I had Kayla bring us lunch, and watching them gaze into each other's eyes was awkward, but amazing at the same time. Love at first sight, that is what I would call it.

It was the first time I had seen love at first sight. I wonder if that is how it was my ex and I had?

"Speaking of a big goof, we found you a date for this Friday." I hate this part of my life, 'the set up' aka the worst things to endure while sitting across from a couple that is 'in love'

Imagine this me gazing across a table at a total hottie. Okay now that I got your attention, he has blue eyes, is lean, and has a steady job. The things that are a total turn-off are when they, say he isn't looking for anything serious. Also, he doesn't like children on top of that his body count is higher than his IQ. You bring up one smart topic and he just smiles through the pain you are putting his brain through. His only response is to run his hand up your crotch with a sleazy grin. This is a major red flag but in every romance novel, the girl learns to love him and finds something deep inside him to cherish. Most girls just settle, which is not something someone should do.

When those situations happen, I mention to my son that I have to check on him. Most guy's response is 'No way you are way too hot to be a mom.' Or they claim I am too young. I always try to be nice to these dates, but for some reason, they pair me up with deadbeat men.

There was one dude with a pickup truck and a mullet. He asked me five minutes into the date if I was willing to have sex with him in the back of his truck. When I said no he was kind enough to offer the bathroom. I said no again and he said okay fine you're pretty enough for me to buy us a room, I'd like to show you a good time. I left that place so quickly and didn't speak to my so-called friends for a month.

"Do you want hot chocolate as well?" I ask for parking in front of Tim Hortons.

"No, I want a breakfast sandwich, dark roast coffee with 4 shots of creamer. A muffin and oatmeal." He gets out his wallet hands me a fifty and says, "I'm buying."

"This is a first," I say grabbing it.

"I'd like the cha-" he starts to say.

"It's okay, I'll keep the change." Before I close the door I ask Andre to close his eyes so I can flick off John. He smiles and my son starts whining.

"I wanna go into immies." He pouts.

"If you go in you are not getting hot chocolate." I think I have won this until he looks at John.

"You'd buy me one, wouldn't you?" He asks the being of a pout set up on his adorable face.

Here come the puppy dog eyes and the lip quiver.

Now the softie we know as Uncle John turns to me with a heartbroken look in his eyes. I glare at him and I unlock the back door making sure to slam the front in John's face. On my way to the other side of the car, John sticks his tongue out and puts up his hand antlers causing Andre to go into a fit of giggles.

I open Andre's door and unbuckle him. I am going to embarrass this kid, when we get in there I am going to mess up John's order on purpose.

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