blissful | jatum

5.

[tate]
was i anxious? no...
ok maybe a little.
i didn't know what he wanted. it could be anything. ranging from homework to...i don't even want to talk about. jack nudged my foot under my desk. i glanced up at him. he had a puzzled look on his face. he looked to the teacher still talking as jack leaned in to whisper.
"what's wrong?"
i shook my head.
"nothing why?"
he looked back around and back into my eyes. his hazel colours hiding under his hoodie. he crossed his arms and leaned back and gave me a look. the look of concern.
"i'm fine" i said with a small smile.
he exhaled looking back to the lesson. i looked at him then glanced over at jonah. he was sitting a few rows behind jack. his denim jacket and black vivid hair he ran his fingers through. he looked over to the clock and locked eye contact with me for about a second. i flinched looking downward at my desk. i bit my lip. shit tatum. the bell rang as jack started to get up and looked back at me.
"just go without me" i said putting my hand up.
"whats wrong?"
"nothing"
"tate"
"there's nothing"
he looked to his feet and fumbled around with the promise ring he and gabriela both had.
"she's here right?"
i nodded.
he looked over to the door and back to me pulling me in a quick hug.
"i'll see you at the end of the day" he whispered and walked away. i smiled in his direction. then i saw him get up. he ruffled his hair as he looked at me. it's like my heart started beating faster and faster. he looked at me up and down.

jonah don't do that oh my god

i walked up to him tucking a strand of hair behind my hair. he smiled. i never see him smile at me.
"hey" he said softly.
his eye contact was intimidating as i started to bounce on my feet slowly.
"hey" i said quietly.
he scratched the back of his neck and looked down to his shoes. i looked down with him. matching shoes.
"nice shoes"
i let out a quiet laugh. he made me nervous. shy. just a huge part of me wanted to run to lunch.
"so...what did you want to ask me" i said folding my hands and waiting for an answer. he smiled.
"...do you want to study with me tomorrow?"
i glanced up from my shoes to him. he tried to make eye contact with me but i looked away. if i stared long into his eyes i might just get lost in them. jonah's little features like his rings and the small scar on his cheek made my stomach flutter.
"s-sure..." i stuttered out.
why was it so hard to talk to him about normal studying but easy to call him a dick in front of hundreds of students?
"tate" he said putting his hand on each of my shoulders to relax my pacing. it made my skin break in goosebumps. thank god my hoodie covered them.
"why so nervous?"
i played with my hair strand.
"you're not the type of guy that would be talking to a type of girl like me...i'm just confused" i mumbled.
his finger lifted my chin up. that made my cheeks go pink. the feeling of his fingers on my chin.
his hands trail down to his side.
"i mean you do think i'm a dick"
"gosh...jonah i'm sorry" i started.
"no don't it was pretty bitchy of what i said"
i already felt so so embarrassed. we stood there for a few seconds until he caught where i was looking at it.
"tatum look at me"
the way he said my name made me cheeks sting. i forcefully made myself look at him.

he's perfect

"so saturday?"
"yeah...in the library?"
jonah looked up for a second.
"what about the public library it has a working printer unlike the school's"
"what's the printer about?"
"i got to print my essay"
i mentally slapped myself. why else would we be going to a library. it's not a date. no. stop thinking that.
"...ok" i said picking at the strings of my hoodie.
he leaned in. dangerously closer. he looked at me. the way where my heartbeat could probably be heard because the way he looked at me. he looked down to the strings pulling one side to balance them out.
"there" he said like he extremely proud.
"thanks"
he picked up his backpack to go outside.
"see you tate" he said with a sweet voice.
i waved back. i slapped my forehead.

why the fuck are you so awkward?

i checked the time. i went outside to meet corbyn at lunch. i popped my head out of the classroom looking to see if anyone that was friends with jonah would attack me. coast was clear. i walked to the cafeteria. only one thought running through my mind.

why are you so nervous around him?