3.26 Day Seventeen: Parker

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"I'll help you," Lizzie spoke softly.

She took the rack away from me, pushing it towards the exit. But the tub I grabbed popped open because I overfilled it like an idiot. I scrambled to pick everything up and it wouldn't fit the same way again because of course it wouldn't and everyone was staring at me struggling to pick everything back up. Camille lowered. She stuffed as much as she could into her arms without a word. She went back for a suitcase full of shoes that I almost forgot. She nudged me to follow.

We marched through the school to the parking lot. Camille was the first one to say anything. The last thing she said was shouted at me and now, she was yelling again. I guess that was the trend now. "What the hell was that?"

"I don't know," I said.

"You don't know?!"

"I don't know!"

"Let's just calm down," Lizzie said, and I took a deep breath, but it still felt like my skin was on fire. My entire being sizzled as my adrenaline showed no signs of slowing down. Nothing seemed like it would ever slow down.

"What did your mom say?" Lizzie asked.

"Your mom called?" Camille softened.

"She's not coming to see the play, which is fine, right?" I grinned so wide my cheeks ached. "It's not like I'll have anything to show anymore. No one's going to see the costumes. Not the school. You guys. Not her. She won't see...." I stopped before I could say "me."

Camille dropped the suitcase with a huff. "I can't fucking stand your mom. Jesus!" She muttered something I didn't understand in Spanish and kicked Lizzie's tire. She whipped around, pointing a sharp finger at me. "You have to stop letting her fuck up your life!"

I closed my eyes as my leg jittered on its own. Everything inside of me begged to burst. On the other side, Lizzie pushed me. Shocked, my eyes popped open as I fell against the trunk of her car. Tears burned her eyes and irritated them a bright shade of pink. "Let it out Parker. Just let it out. What are you? Huh? What are you?"

"I'm angry," I said through clenched teeth, like passing a vocal kidney stone. "I'm so angry. About everything. All the time."

Camille pushed too. "Then what are you going to do about it?"

Lizzie grabbed both of my arms and closed her eyes tight before she ripped out a scream. I screamed back. Camille joined our huddle and we screamed and screamed and screamed, until I thought my ears were going to explode, until I was crying and thought I might even pass out I became so light-headed.

I took several deep breaths to pull life back into this empty vessel of a body. Lizzie's hand rested on my back. She rubbed comforting circles across my rigid shoulder blades, knocking off the icicles. Camille was gone, leaving only us.

"Let me take you home," Lizzie said. Her voice softer than velvet, kinder than a Christmas song. My arms moved on their own, pulling her into a hug.

My voice cracked like the screen of a fallen cellphone. "I really thought she'd come. I thought she missed me or something."

"I know. But you have to remember the people that are here. Your dad, your stepmom, Hayden and me."

She didn't add Camille to that list. That list used to have my mom. Used to have a lot more people, but all the names continued to fall away and disappear. I squeezed Lizzie tight, not sure what I would do if Lizzie struck her name from that list.

Lizzie took me home and thankfully, no one was home to ask why Lizzie and I brought so many costumes back inside the house. She sat with me on the couch, until I was too exhausted to keep my eyes open. She pressed a small kiss to my forehead and that was almost enough to make me cry again. I wanted to tell her how much I loved her, but I knew that might make her run. 

We were too close. Too wrapped up in each other. If anyone got too close to me and started to see the real me, that was when they ran. I couldn't let Lizzie see. We needed distance. We needed to be in a position where my life didn't explode at the end of this trial. 

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AUTHOR'S NOTE

Ouch. Double ouch. These parts have been really difficult to write and the next day, I completely lost. Somehow I deleted the ENTIRE scene and didn't notice. I really don't know what I did. It feels so weird for it just to be gone. Luckily, I'm close to rewriting it completely. I always mourn the loss of words I've already written, but the new scene always turns out better. So there's that, I guess. Wish me luck! 

So, what did you think about the day? Don't forget to leave a comment with your thoughts! Did you expect anything else from Parker's mom? What did you think about Parker's outburst and were you surprised to see Camille there to help? 

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