Growing Up

Being Alone 2019 Onward

I was told by a few people about how Melbourne was the place for me, I didn't believe them at firstas I felt too safe, comfortable in where I was. My Mum, Dad, my boss Jen, Patty, all told me it was where I was supposed to be. After Patty has told me, I decided to take action and look for jobs and opportunities over there. 

My boss Jen, my amazing co worker Roxanne would help me a lot with my resume, I will always be grateful for their help and what they both did you assist me. 

I ended up with a lot of job offers and in that moment, I decided it was my time to move on. It happened within 3 weeks of the time I started.

I was too comfortable in work, I didn't want to leave, I had made such an impact on my regular guests day and to leave my boss Jen, who was like my mother, friend, family, I didn't admit but leaving her was so difficult, she had taught me so many things, not just at work, outside too. 

She took me in as her family, she always cared, she could see my pain and how I was feeling when in doubt, she never gave up on me even when we did argue at work a few times. But I love her always.
She taught me to be strong, how to deal with stress, showing me how to be a better person in management, how to deal with new situations at work, she was the one who helped create the new version of myself, I was always learning from her, both from her influence and guidance.

When I told her I was moving to Melbourne she was so happy for me, but I could see and know she was going to miss me. She calls me frequently nowadays to make sure I'm ok, to talk about work and life, it's always a good conversation.

The move was happening so fast I never really had much time to say goodbye to people, but Eliza was so hurt by me not making sure I came to her, I felt so guilty not trying to go to her. 

But in some ways I was leaving behind my life, for some reasons I wanted to, some not. I wish some of the people I know lived here with me in Melbourne, because it's not the place that makes the home, it's the people.

I knew that me and Patty weren't going to make it, I tried to make her comfortable before I left, we lived together so I tried to get all the big things out the house, tried to clean as much as I could before I left. Even when I broke the lease, I paid for all the costs involved, I chose to forfeit my bond to cover everything even having to pay some out of pocket to get the place advertised.

I protected her by ensuring her bond was never to be touched, so she was able to get all her money back, I had to accept a thank you, I never will receive. Instead I got the blame for stressing her out,  I tried to make her comfortable, even when I came to Melbourne, I purposely went out and looked for jobs for her, I did so much more than I felt like I had to. 

When I tell people, they said it's more than what people can ask for, but it feels like the norm to me, I just want to help however I can.

We did break up, she made me toxic, as I to her. But we were never meant to be, a relationship should never be like that. So now I choose to be single, alone, I feel like more of myself than ever before.

I have the ability to help people whenever or however now, with no guilt, no weight on my shoulders. I want to be an inspiration to people who feel they live with doubt, I try to always look for the best in people, even when they are evil.

If more people were to hold out their hand for one another, the world would be connected, instead all humanity does is push away, we don't embrace each other.

I always tell people, if I cut him, or her, or him, what colour blood comes out? Red.

We're all the same, it's the cover that's different, we shouldn't judge people based on the cover when deep down we're all the same. Sure we have different faults, mistakes we have made, but everyone makes mistakes til' they get to their full potential.