stay high • mgc

0.2

P r e s e n t T i m e

► M I C H A E L ◄

We all thought it would be a good idea if we went to go see Against The Current in concert. I mean, I have seen them perform before but that was way before the whole breakup. The only reason why I didn't want to go was because I knew I would see Chrissy. I didn't hate her or anything; I never did. I just felt guilty and just uncomfortable whenever I would see her now.

I had broke up with her just a couple months before, and I had regretted it so many times. The only reason I had broken up with her was because of a huge fight we got into. I had enough of her insecurity.

She had the insecurity that I would cheat on her with other girls on tour with my band 5 Seconds of Summer. I guess I had enough with her not trusting me. There would be nights where I would dream of having her in my arms; holding her tight onto my chest.

I would then wake up and realize that it was all just a dream. I would have hallucinations of seeing her beautiful smile and her silly personality. She was basically one of the only females (besides my own mother) that could handle my weirdness, since I knew myself that I could get fucking crazy.

My heart sunk once I left her. I had herd from the over blow from social media that her band had released new music. I was always curious to listen to her music. She had such a heavenly voice. It was almost rough, but yet so powerful and strong. That was another thing I liked about her.

Yet another secret I knew about her was that she would break down very easily. Which was something I feared would happen when I first left. I just hoped it wouldn't be some sort of Taylor Swift type of song. Not that I didn't like Taylor Swift...

We sat down onto the 4th row, which was crowded with people that had no idea who we were. They came onto the stage and my heart sunk down to the bottom of my stomach once I saw her run out to the crowd. She was as beautiful as she always was.

She looked so happy seeing everyone cheering, yet deep down inside I knew she wasn't. I would seem like a complete asshole just simply going up to her asking for her back. It wasn't any use at all. It was all my fault, but how would I fix it? How would I fucking know?

They sang their first couple songs, which her voice was just absolutely gorgeous. I felt Ashton tug my arm. "You ok mate?" he asked. Did i make everything so obvious? "Yeah i'm fine" I lied. Every time I saw Chrissy, whether in person or even in a video or magazine, I would feel like an idiot.

I had who i knew was my world and I let her go. What was wrong with me? I didn't have a clue. "Look, we're not stupid, we know something's wrong" Calum contributed to the conversation. "And we can kinda tell what it is." Ashton responded. I felt the rush of anxiety rush through my veins. Why was I even here?

Oh yeah, because I was basically forced to come since we were invited to the concert. It doesn't make much sense to be honest. I just wanted to get the hell out of there and continue on with my life without cringing at my stupid mistakes. I sighed. I wasn't going to let this keep me down from my career.

"Alright everyone, so this is our last song for the night. I just want to say that if you have recently maybe lost someone you love, whether it was through a painful breakup or anything possibly worse, just know that you're not alone. I wrote this song going through a dark time trying to get over a breakup, but i'm fine now so no need to worry. I hope you all enjoy it. This is called 'Stay High' " Chrissy ended the whole speech with a cheeky smile.

It gave me a very uncomfortable vibe. I had a feeling that she might have been lying when she said she was fine, but I wasn't going to be able to read her mind. The sound of the acoustic guitar started playing as she strum the strings ever so delicately (i don't know how to play guitar, but i want to learn)

She started singing; I knew this wasn't going to end well at all.

I tried to contain all my feelings throughout the song. The song was clearly about her last breakup...which was with me. I heart seemed to break like glass being smashed onto a counter when she got to the bridge of the song.

Staying in my play pretend

Where the fun ain't got no end

Ooh

Can't go home alone again

Need someone to numb the pain

Ooh

Staying in my play pretend

Where the fun ain't got no end

Ooh

Can't go home alone again

Need someone to numb the pain

-

You're gone and I gotta stay

High all the time

To keep you off my mind

Ooh -ooh, ooh -ooh

High all the time

To keep you off my mind

Ooh- ooh , ooh-ooh

Spending my days locked in a haze

Trying to forget you babe

I fall back down

Gotta stay high all my life

To forget i'm missing you

Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh

-

It was definitely different from her other songs, especially the meaning. I knew Chrissy as the innocent adorable sweet girl who happened to be the lead singer of Against the Current. Now, what i did to her turned her into this supposed alcoholic and drug addict. It made everything so hard to believe.

You turned her into this, you know

I heard that voice in my head, making me cringe at my mistake once again. I felt myself getting tense. That was when I saw tears stream down her face from afar. She tried wiping it all off with a smile. That smile was all a lie, it was a frown attempting to mold itself into a smile in disguise.

Why Michael? Why the fuck are you so stupid? She's like this because of you you bastard!

I heard that voice in my head, punching me in the chest mentally. Was I going crazy? Chrissy made me feel a lot of emotions when we were together. I was afraid that the emotion of being insane might be one of them.

I just had to hope that I wasn't going in that direction. Her sadness was eventually going to kill me. I let my weakness go wild, and now I can't do anything about it but cringe at myself at my stupidity. I'm sorry Chrissy.....I let you down.

-

SURPRISE UPDATE!! YAY!!!!

well, i found myself some time to update this 'masterpiece'

hope you likey!! if if you didn't, well.....ok

OKIE byeeee

-nat