stay high • mgc

1.3

P r e s e n t T i m e

    ►C  H  R  I  S  S  Y ◄

(wanna cry ?? listen to ride by lana del rey, intro and everything, and gentle rain {which you can easily look up on youtube} while reading this. you'll cry. i know i did. )

My eyes fluttered open as I stared up blankly at the ceiling. I knew I wasn't in my apartment, not in my own bed. I turned to my left to see a sleeping Dan right next to me, dazing off in slumber. Oh shit why Chrissy ?? was all I thought to myself.

First, I get kissed by Niall Horan and now I had slept with my own bandmate Daniel Gow. What was wrong with me? I kept asking myself as I quietly and gently scooted myself off the bed how I ended up there in the first place and what exactly happened that night. 

My head started aching to the point where I was simply able to hear the nuisance of my head pounding. I silently looked through his cabinets to check if he had any aspirin, dreading the creaking sound the wooden cabinets made.

No aspirin. 

I grabbed my combat boots, which were right against the door. My fingers were almost sore and trickling with distant pain as I laced them onto my feet. I readjusted my messy morning hair in the bathroom mirror.

I only had a faint memory of his apartment. It was in the beginning of Against the Current and we would have our practice rehearsals there. The memories simply shattered away once I started dating Micheal.

I grabbed my purse and quietly walked out the apartment building. I had to ride a taxi cab to finally get 'home'. I stared blankly out the window, watching the normal humans walk through the streets. I felt my phone buzz my in my pocket.

Marina : bruh im so fucked up from last night, hbu ??

Chrissy : same, i couldn't find any aspirin goddammit :-//

I payed the taxi driver and walked into the apartment building. Once I arrived at my apartment door, I looked through the black hole that was my purse to look for my keys. After like 2 minutes of constant searching, I finally found them and opened the door.

I felt the rush of cold wind hit my face as a sign of loneliness. I shut the door and plopped on my bed, feeling relieved that I was finally back at my apartment. That was when my phone started buzzing like crazy.

It was all pictures Marina was sending me from the night before. They weren't just pictures as I looked through them, they were paintings of torture. She had taken numerous pictures of me and Daniel making out and other pictures of everyone partying like animals.

That wasn't me....It couldn't be.

I felt my eyes watering up as I look at the last one. It was simply Daniel and I kissing as we were slowly dancing to that one Arctic Monkeys song I wasn't able to remember at the moment. I whimpered and wanted to cry. I changed ...a lot.

I was so frustrated over my many many mistakes, all because of a stupid breakup that had to ruin and tear me apart. I hated him ... so much.

I felt my throat ache like if I was about to cry. I wanted to hold it in but I just couldn't. I let out loud sobs, not caring if the entire building heard the sound of my sorrow.

He made me go to a nomadic point of madness that simply dazzled my mind and made me wander off to a dark path that I knew I wasn't supposed to take. It was a path my mother warned me about.

I guess I was just so heartbroken that I would've done almost anything to take the pain away, even though he was what lighted up every day of my life. I felt like I was in the winter of my life and Micheal was my only summer.

The memories with him were the only things that both sustained and ruined me. I could've easily fallen in love with some other guy, but its fascinating of how I still had them all for him and how they never ever left my soul.

I never realized that I actually let someone ruin me, inside and out. Everything went so far to the point where I was afraid of dreaming at night since almost the only thing my dreams held where the distant memories of him.

Suddenly, I heard someone knock at my door. "W-Who is it?" I asked with the amount in strength left in my voice. "It's Marina" the girl answered. She simply let herself in and shut the door. "Why are you up so early?" I asked her, knowing her that she would most likely wake up around the afternoon when hung over.

"I don't know, the only thing I do know is that I woke up with possibly the biggest headache in centuries" she explained, plopping onto my bed. "Did you get the pics I sent you?" she asked. I cringed for a slight second. "Uh yeah ... I did" I answered bluntly.

"Dude you and Dan were getting it on !!" she exclaimed wildly. "You didn't post those pictures anywhere, did you?" I asked, hoping she didn't. "No, not yet. Should I?" she asked. "NO, please don't." I begged. "Why not?" she asked suspiciously.

"Just please don't, it feels so wrong knowing that I not only kissed one of your exes best friends AND slept with one my bandmates !!" I was letting out my emotions right then and there. "Wait, you kissed Niall?" she asked automatically.

"Yes !! But it was an accident. he kissed me. I don't want to be this drunken mess anymore !!" I answered, wanting to cry so fucking badly.

There was suddenly an awkward silence between us. I sat down next to her as she vaguely stared at the floor. "You still love Micheal, don't you?" she asked me, slowly locking her eyes onto mine. I nodded and sobbed on her shoulder as she hugged me.

Feeling the bond of my best friend and knowing that she now knew what was making me so depressed was relieving. The only thing that was missing was if he knew himself. How much he hurt me. How much he destroyed my mind.

Micheal Gordon Clifford shall always remain in my heart.

Always.

-

HERROR

HAPPY UPDATE !!! WOO !! I HOPE YOU LIKE THIS UPDATE !! I WAS DEFINATELY AN EMOTIONAL MESS WRITING THIS LMAO

ALSO MICHEAL DYED HIS HAIR BLUE HOLY SHIET VGUWEVR

THERE IS ALSO A FUN LITTLE SURPRISE I FOUND ON WEHEARTIT IN THE EXTERNAL LINK IF YOU WANNA CHECK THAT OUT MKAY

ok bye

-nat