Not Enough | Namgi

Chapter 2

Namjoon POV

I sigh as the six of us sit down at one of the tables in the lunchroom that BigHit provides for the staff here, each one of us with food being set in front of us while Yoongi continues to remain missing. Jimin frowns at this for a moment before offering me a small smile, rubbing my back gently.

"He'll be okay, hyung. He's strong." Jimin says softly to me, trying to provide some comfort for me. I only purse my lips at this though, knowing that even strong people have their breaking points.

"Hyung, how're the songs coming along?" Jungkook speaks up from across the table from me. I avert my gaze to our youngest member, giving him a small smile.

"They're finished. I got the last one done last night." I answer quietly, causing Jin to scoff. I frown at our eldest, not understanding what the hell has gotten into him.

"Of course we're left waiting on Yoongi again. Do you have any idea how far along he is with his portion? We need those finished on time for the comeback." Jin questions next.

"What is your problem with him? You've been nothing but shitty to him lately and that's not how a band is supposed to act. It's not how this band acts." I counter, tired of watching so many people treat him so terribly.

I know he tries to brush it off and make it seem like he's not affected by their words but I know he is. I know their words break him to the core and yet he plays it off as if nothing happened. He plays it off like he isn't bothered by it, as if their words won't haunt him, as though they won't mingle in his head with shit he's been told since he was young.

I know him better than that though. I know he lets their words repeat in his head until their engraved. I know their words mix in his head with those that he was told growing up. I know their attitude towards him affects him more than what he lets onto.

"My problem with Yoongi is that he's quit working. He's quit trying. He's barely putting any effort into anything. If this were back when we were only two years in after debuting, he would've had the songs finished over a week ago, and he certainly wouldn't be fucking the dances up the way he is now. He cared back then and for whatever fucking reason, he's stopped. It's going to ruin this band if he keeps on with that kind of outlook and attitude." Jin argues with a glare. I sigh, shaking my head at this.

I wish there were a way to tell them without letting onto the bigger issue that may be at work here. I'm not certain what all is going on with him anymore though, considering he keeps pushing me away. He's quit letting me in, something he hasn't done ever before. Even when he'd push everyone away before, he never pushed me away. If anything, it was those times where he held me closer. Times where he struggled but still managed not to push me away like he did with everyone else, times where he let me in. I'm worried for what exactly is happening now though, now that he's pushing me away with everyone else. I don't know how to read it.

I just wish there were a way for me to tell the others to lay off him without giving away and telling them things that he's only trusted me with in secret.

"You wouldn't understand." I mutter quietly, pushing my tray of food away from me before standing. Jimin's eyes widen with worry at my words and actions, looking ready to follow suit. Tae and Hobi give me annoyed looks that match Jin's though.

"What is there to understand, Namjoon? Is there something you see that the rest of us are missing? Namjoon, he hasn't been performing to the level we all know he can. He's been slacking and he's not been working as hard as what we all know he can. As harsh as what Mr. Song told him in the practice room, he's right. Yoongi's acting as if he were some new trainee or something with the dances and how slow he's writing. He's progressively been giving up more and more over the last year now. He's got to get his shit together if we're going to be able to have our comeback on the day it's set for." Hoseok questions.

"Clearly you've all forgotten just how much time Yoongi used to spend working on songs and his dancing for us back in our debut days. He used to spend at least this much time on songs for the first two and a half years after we debuted because he wanted to make sure what he was putting out would be good enough. Jin hyung and I both used to struggle with the dances just as much as he did." I bite back, growing far too frustrated with all of this.

"Hyung, that was years ago though. We're so much farther along than that. He used to be able to get the dances down really well just a year and a half ago. Now he's working through the dances like he used to back before we even debuted. What are we missing?" Tae speaks up quietly.

I just scoff at all of this though, shaking my head before turning and walking away from them, not being able to take it any longer. I can afford to miss lunch for one day. I can't just sit there and listen to them continue bitching about a guy that I'm in love with though.