into you | niam

into you

haven't been to my favorite restaurant in months

Just like almost every week, Niall was waiting patiently for Harry to finish his argumentation. This belongs to his daily routine now. While listening to his best friend, he sat down on one of the wooden chairs in his kitchen.

"But we haven't been there in months! We used to go to Lyle's at least once a week."

Harry wasn't wrong about that. And if we are being completely honest here, I would really love to go there again as well. But I'm too scared. Too scared that this place will bring back all of the emotions and every tiny memory, which is still hiding somewhere in my head, that I do not want to be reminded of.

Harry only knows this restaurant because of me. And I? I only knew about this place because of my ex-boyfriend.
He took me there for our first real date.
I remember exactly how fucking nervous I was that day. We only knew each other for less than a week, probably around 5 days and when he asked me out, it was extremely unexpected, at least for me.

We went to the same school together, but during our time there we actually never really interacted. I knew he existed and he knew who I was, but nothing more. It all started when I had a short time job at this pub, where he and his friends always went to. We started talking and one night, when my shift was already over, I stayed and sat down in the booth he and his friends were always sitting in. Everyone probably drank too much that night. And at end he and I were the only ones left. I remember that we flirted, like- a lot, and I even remember the exact words I used, which probably started our whole relationship.

"C'mon you dork, fucking kiss me already!"

And he did. He actually did so much more than that. He made me fall deeply in love with him.

We started dating shortly after that. And we were in a relationship for 5 years.
During those 5 years, we learned to love and accept each other. I still remember every little detail about him, every tiny freckle, the way he looked when he just woke up or after he worked out and his tattoos... oh his tattoos, I still can see every single one of them in my head. And I know the meanings behind most of them.

There's one that stood out, well at least for me it did. It was my favorite out of all of them. A small "N", written in my own handwriting, which was placed right under his hipbone.
I can remember exactly how nervous I was, when I had to write that down for him. Of course it was just one simple letter, but it would be on his body forever.
When I would tell him that, he always replied with the same words, that's why they're stuck in my head.

"But you will be in my life forever
as well."

Jokes on that.
I just wonder if he still has it. If it was too hard to just cover it up with a bigger one.
But that will stay unanswered for me. Maybe I don't even really wanna know, it would probably hurt too much.

"So what do you say?"

"I'm not going there Haz, accept that. Choose a different place to get food." I replied flatly, and Harry sighed annoyed. I know he really wants to go there, and he knows why I don't. He just couldn't understand why I'm still that scared.
But I wasn't scared. I am hurt.

"Okay, then let's go to that new place that opened recently instead. Ed told me about it. Let's check it out, alright?"

I gave in and nodded. "Are we gonna take your car?"