The Moon on a Frozen Lake

8: Ink Blots

No way was he going to cry! Jihoon could only remember doing so thrice in his life. Once when his parents sent him off to South Korea to live with his grandmother. Second, when his grandmother died. And lastly, when he woke up in a hospital bed and was told his fiancee was dead. Today wasn't going to be the fourth time.

As if to mock him, another tear fell from his eye.

Then another.

He kept brushing them away, but soon, he couldn't keep up. Aware he wasn't alone, he bit back an expletive. What sort of man lost control of his emotions? Only a weak one. The urge to shout or punch something raged within him.

"Jihoon, are you okay? Is your mother okay?"

When he heard Yingyue next to him, he deliberately averted his face. No way he was going to let her see him like this. If he did, he'd never be able to look at her again. "It's nothing."

"Are you sure?" She touched his arm.

He jerked it away.

The phone he forgot he was holding clattered to the floor. She gasped. Through blurry eyes, he stared at the shattered screen. God, he was an asshole! No matter how shitty he was feeling, Yingyue was an innocent bystander. He shouldn't be dragging her into this shitstorm.

"Jihoon..."

"I'm sorry. I have to go."

Doing his utmost best to avoid her gaze, Jihoon brushed past Yingyue. He half-walked, half-ran towards the front door. There, he looked around for his coat. When he couldn't find it, he decided to do without. Next, he tackled his boots, but the laces kept slipping through his fingers so he left them undone. With a hard twist of the knob, he yanked the door open. As soon as he stepped out, icy winds slapped against his body and dug into every other part of it left exposed. Jihoon kept walking fueled by his anger and frustration. After he went past the gate, his strides grew faster.

Not long after, his teeth started chattering. Thick clouds formed every time he exhaled. Still, he propelled himself forward with no clear direction in mind. If he went fast enough, surely he'd outrun the things that hounded him. A dog barked as he neared a crossroad. The sound of muffled revelry spilled from apartment blocks. Ignoring them all, he made a turn and almost lost his balance when he stepped on a shoelace. Clicking his tongue in frustration, he kneeled down and finally managed to tie them.

While he crouched on the ground, the wind howled through the trees and ruffled his hair. Lids shut, he tilted his head as far up as it would go. Like a cool caress to a feverish brow, the frigid air helped dampen the fire inside him. It felt good. More importantly, it helped calm him down. When his heart rate was back to normal, Jihoon opened his eyes and beheld the onyx carpet above which held neither moon nor stars. For a while, he stared at that endless sky contemplating his next move. He should probably head home soon.

But where was home?

"Kang Jihoon," someone shouted from a distance.

His head swiveled towards the direction of the voice. Jihoon heard her footsteps first. Then, after a while, Yingyue appeared at the end of the road. Jihoon jumped to his feet, shocked at the sight of her. She shouldn't be out here. Wasn't she scared of going outside? And what about her wound?

"Yingyue..."

His voice drew her attention his way. As soon as she saw him, she started jogging.

"Ji-jihoon!"

"Stop running," he shouted back. "Your wound!"

When she didn't listen, Jihoon raced to meet her halfway. Yingyue stumbled right into his arms. He gently held her bundled form against him, careful not to hurt her. The sweet scent she always wore welcomed his embrace.

"Yingyue, what are you doing here?" he exclaimed.

"Ji-ji..." she drew in a lungful of air, "Jihoon, y-you f-forgot y-your c-coat!"

Yingyue thrust something soft against his chest. When he pulled away, he saw she was holding the garment he left behind. "You..." Jihoon searched her gaze. Slowly, any negative emotions he had left dissipated. "You went after me to give me this?"

She nodded. "I-I d-didn't w-want y-y-ou t-to f-freeze."

That was when he noticed that underneath her padded jacket, she was shaking uncontrollably. Not only that, but she was having trouble breathing, too. "Oh, Yingyue!" Extricating his coat from her tight grip, he shrugged it on and drew her close again. She must have been so scared. Despite that, she came and looked for him. "You should have stayed home."

She shook her head. "B-but wh-what if y-you d-die?"

He chuckled. "It's not that cold." Then, seeing her glare, he sobered up. "I'm not going to die, Yingyue."

"Ss-still. Y-you can n-never b-be certain."

Underneath his coat, her hands snaked around his waist and clutched the back of his sweater. Jihoon wondered if she realized what she was doing. Had she really been that worried about his welfare? It didn't seem possible since they haven't known each other for a long time. But then again, if the situation had been reversed, he would have done the same thing for her. Resting his chin against the top of her head, he said, "You should worry about yourself first. How did you even leave the house?"

"I d-don't k-know. I-I j-just... I d-didn't t-think."

Warmth spread through his veins. The coat certainly helped, but mostly, it was because of her. A tiny smile lifted his lips. "Miss Hu, Miss Hu... You're so brave." He smoothed her hair, repeatedly running his palms against her silky strands. "What should I do with you?"

"T-take m-me home," she mumbled. "L-let's go home."

Home...

Earlier, he questioned where home was. Was this the answer?

"All right," he replied, "but I'm carrying you back."

"No! Y-you---"

Ignoring her protests, he swept her off her feet. "If you can't worry about yourself, let me worry about you. Now wrap your arms around my neck."

Yingyue did as he asked. Jihoon grinned at the sight of her wide-eyed. "What are you looking at?"

Dodging his gaze, she pointed at the sky. "The moon."

"The moon?"

Where once was nothingness, a sliver of a moon peeked from behind the clouds. Although Jihoon wasn't the kind to believe in signs and magic, he did believe in coincidences. Closing his eyes, he made a wish. If his nightmares could easily bleed into reality as it did tonight, then please, let him just as easily carry this moment into his dreams.

 ☽ ☾ ☽ ☾ ☽ ☾ ☽ ☾ ☽ ☾ ☽ ☾ 

A/N: Thank you to everyone who patiently waited for this chapter. 

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